Relatives in Reno

American Airlines

Last week we flew to Reno to see Jim's aunt, uncle (M & L) and cousins. Jim's dad was one of 11 children, and only two are still alive. It has been many years since we have seen them, and I had never visited Reno. I had a conference at Lake Tahoe over 40 years ago, but I did not have time to really see the area, so this trip was an opportunity to see not only family, but also do some sight-seeing.

Jim's cousin and his wife (J & C), whom we had visited in Phoenix in March, also flew in. The four of us stayed at the Peppermill Resort Hotel, which is also a big casino. None of us are gamblers, but the hotel was recommended by the local cousins. It was beautiful, and the location was good for what we wanted to do and see.

We saw Jim's aunt and uncle along with one of their daughters the first night we arrived, and had a lovely meal with them. It is always great when you get together with people you haven't seen in years, but can pick up right where you left off.

The next morning we picked up donuts and went to M & L's house for a bit before heading out to tour the area. Jim's cousin had prepared a great map for us, and we visited Truckee (a charming town) before driving around Lake Tahoe. We picked up sandwiches and ate them along the lake as it was such a pretty day. What a gorgeous area! Back at M & L's we were treated to another delicious dinner.

Truckee and Lake Tahoe

We began Friday morning with pickleball at a wonderful indoor facility called 3rd Shot Pickleball. We are so fortunate that J & C love to play as well! Surprisingly, we were the only ones playing. It's hard to pay the rent with that kind of revenue (or lack thereof). After stopping to have coffee with M & L, we drove to Virginia City and had lunch in an old saloon. We went back to M & L's for dinner and met up with some more of the cousins. On the way back to the hotel, we drove to see some of Reno's iconic sights lit up at night.

Reno signs at night

Saturday morning we hit the pickleball courts again, only to find that we were once again the only people in the building. After a half hour or so, a lady came in and met with a coach. It was so surprising to see a lack of players on a Saturday, especially as the weather wasn't great. Following play we went back to the hotel to clean up, and then did a driving tour of Reno. I always research ahead of time to see what oddities exist in or on the way to our destination, and I found no lack of choices in Reno. The cousins got a kick out of trying to find them. We went out to dinner with a few of the cousins.

Reno oddities

J & C were flying out on Sunday afternoon, so we all met for a lovely brunch at M & L's house. Many of the local relatives were able to come, so it was great to be able to catch up and meet the newest members of the family. We were loaned a car in the afternoon, and went to Donner's Pass to the museum. We learned of the sad tale of a settlers group who had tried to take a wagon train to California, only to get trapped by a freak blizzard. The weather Sunday was cool and rainy, with the wind chill making it feel like 35 degrees. We opted not to do any hiking or walk along the lake. We grabbed lunch a a cute barbecue restaurant (which seemed a little ironic considering the information we had just learned at the museum), and then headed back to our hotel.

We returned the car to L the next morning, and had a last good-bye with M & L before going to the airport. Our flight left Reno pretty much on time, and we had a layover in Dallas. The flight out of Dallas was delayed, and instead of getting home at 9:50 at night we didn't get in until 11:20. But despite all the hassles, it was so good to be able to see all the relatives, especially since family reunions are probably a thing of the past.

Laboring Day

Women in Focus show

We had a very busy Labor Day weekend, beginning with the opening of the new Women in Focus photography exhibit on Friday night. I have three photos in the latest show, which is being held at Tavern of Fine Arts in St. Louis. Jim and I arrived around 5:15, needing to get there early as we had another commitment that night. There was already a nice crowd in place, so we grabbed a drink and walked around admiring the photos. Neither of us had been to the Tavern before, and it seems like a fun place to have dinner and then enjoy live music. We definitely want to go back when we have time to do that. The show will be up until the end of November, so perhaps we can make it before then.

Alpha Sigma Phi brothers

From the Tavern we headed back west to Kirkwood to the home of one of Jim's fraternity brothers. Several of the guys and their wives were in town for the holiday weekend, so they invited us to join them for a barbecue on Friday night. I was contributing a dessert, so I had to think of something I could make that would be okay in the trunk of my car for a couple of hours in 90 plus degree heat. I settled on making lemon bars, adding the dusting of powder sugar to the top once we got to our destination. There ended up being six of the fraternity brothers there (three of whom are brothers by blood as well, along with their younger sister who was also a Little Sister in the fraternity just like me and one of the other wives.) The fourteen of us enjoyed reminiscing about our time at Iowa State and some of the shenanigans that went on while we were there. It always amazes me that you can go 30 plus years without seeing classmates, whether college or high school, and still pick right back up where you left off. We had a great time!

On Saturday Jim's mom & dad along with his sister and her husband arrived from Iowa for the weekend to celebrate the occasion of his mom's 85th birthday (a few weeks early, but this is the only weekend that worked for everyone.) My other sister-in-law was also due to arrive from Kansas City, but unfortunately she became ill and was unable to make the drive. After church on Sunday, my sister and her husband and my niece came by to join us for dinner and cake. They all have known Jim's mom for over 30 years, so it was fun to have them celebrate with us. My mother-in-law's favorite cake is angel food, so I found a recipe where you add chopped maraschino cherries to the cake mix prior to baking. I just wanted to make the cake a little special. It rose nicely and looked beautiful when I took it out of the oven and flipped it over to cool while we were at church. When we returned home, it had flattened to half of its size! I have never had an angel food cake do that, so I don't know if the added cherries caused it or what. But of all the times for that to happen...The good news is that the cake was still tasty, and we all had a good laugh about it.

birthday cake

lighting the candles

After the house emptied on Monday morning, I cleaned up the kitchen from breakfast and then did the linens from five beds and all the towels. Labor Day brought much laboring for me. The Wolterman B & B turns over again on Thursday when my cousin and her husband arrive from Cincinnati for a wedding. They have never been here before, so I am eager to show them the house. After I get it all back in order...

Family Gatherings

Recently my sister and I traveled to Cincinnati to visit with relatives. My mom has two sisters who are still living, and my dad has one sister who is still alive. We drove over on a Thursday, and stayed with our cousin and his wife, who graciously put us up (or perhaps I should say put up with us) whenever we come over if they are in town. They also know that our first meal when we hit town has to be Skyline Chili. On Friday a small group of us got together for lunch, and a couple more relatives joined us for dinner.

Holtman's Donut Shop

Saturday morning one of my cousins picked me up to head to downtown Cincinnati. We began the morning at Holtman's Donut Shop, seen recently on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives and Donut Wars. Gina insisted that the Maple Bacon Donut was going to "change my world". She pre-ordered several as that is one of the donuts that they regularly run out of in the morning. After a short wait in line, which passed quickly with the entertainment of watching the staff make donuts, I selected a half dozen donuts to take back to my hosts since they had never come to this donut shop before. After Gina got her order, we walked down the street to a coffee and wine bar (the donut shop has limited seating and NO hot tea!?!) to order drinks and enjoy a donut. Oh, my! I am not sure if my world was changed, but my tummy was really happy to start the day with this special donut.

Maple Bacon donut

The City Flea

We then walked over to The City Flea, a "curated, urban flea market". While there were a few vendors who sold items you would expect to see at a flea market, most of the booths offered jewely, photography, scarves and other clothing items and some specialty items such as homemade chocolates. Food trucks surrounded the area on one side in case shoppers needed something to eat or drink. It was a fun and festive environment, and I picked up a few items for myself. I probably should have been thinking about Christmas gifts, but instead I was thinking about myself. (Except for the chocolate, which I brought home and shared with my husband.)

hot dogs from Senate

After walking and shopping we had worked up an appetite for lunch. (If it seems as if I eat my way through Cincinnati, that is probably because I do.) This time we chose Senate, purveyors of gourmet hot dogs, which also has made an appearance on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. I ordered the Trailer Park and she got the special of the day, and we split them along with some fries. Everything was delicious!

It was time to do more walking after feasting on the dogs and fries, so we walked around the area looking at the murals. Part of a project dedicated to creating a mural in each of Cincinnati's 52 neighborhoods, there are now 90 murals that have been completed. We saw a small sampling of them, but I know what I would be doing if I lived in the area!

Cincinnati wall murals

Crusham family reunion

From there we drove to Price Hill Chili (to eat more, of course!) where my Crusham relatives were gathering for a small reunion. We ended up with more than 40 people, which was a great turnout. We captured most of them in this photo.

Sunday my sister and I met with Aunt Gloria, my dad's sister, and her 3 children at a restaurant in Newport, Kentucky. It has been several years since we had seen them, so it was nice to catch up. I was also able to fill them in on my trip to Switzerland last fall, where I met many Kubler relatives that we had not known about prior to my trip.

Monday found us on the road back home, after a quick stop at Kroger to pick up Skyline Chili and goetta to tide us over until our next trip east. It was a great trip!

The Wolterman B & B

We had a full house this weekend, and we loved every minute of it. Our daughter came home on Wednesday for a long weekend to attend a friend's college graduation party. On Thursday my cousin from Chicago arrived, picked up by his sister at the Megabus stop. She had traveled from Cincinnati. Late Friday night the Chicago cousin's roommate got here. The Chicagoans were here for a wedding, while the Cincinnatian came to hang with me. (And maybe see her brother.) Since our daughter was the last one to make reservations at our B & B, she spent Friday and Saturday nights with a friend who lives here in town.

water lily at the Missouri Botanical Garden

During the day on Friday we went to the Missouri Botanical Garden then hit one of their favorite restaurants, Crazy Bowls and Wraps, for lunch. Then we set off for the zoo. And was it ever a zoo! The place was packed, though we did manage to score a decent parking spot in one of the Art Museum's free lots. We got sprinkled on a couple times, but at least the temperature was decent.

That night my cousins and I went to The Shaved Duck for dinner. As this restaurant had been featured on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives, we were eager to check it out. After a 45 minute wait, we were led to our table for three. The appetizer of Smothered Fries was amazing, even if it did look a bit disgusting. The French fries are covered with shredded rib meat and a cheese sauce. Tasty! I split a pulled pork sandwich and order of mac and cheese with my cousin, and she ordered a side of corn bread for us to share. We knew we were stopping at Ted Drewe's on the way home, so we didn't want to overload ourselves.

The Shaved Duck restaurant

Smothered Fries

breakfast at the Boardwalk Cafe

Saturday we were all able to go out to breakfast together before everyone headed out for their activities. A couple of us went to The Hill to do some shopping at the Italian markets there. I had never been and it was a wonderful experience. I picked up some garlic flavored linguine, which I am eager to try with some shrimp. In the evening we dropped the wedding-goers off at 9th Street Abbey for the reception and the rest of us ate at McGurks. It was a beautiful night for outdoor dining, and we had a glass of wine at the house on the deck when we got home.

Most of the guests left this morning, and our daughter heads out tomorrow night. It was great to be surrounded by young people with all their hopes and ambitions ahead of them. And yet I find myself very content with this phase of my own life.

It's All Relative...

This weekend my sister and I went to Cincinnati to visit relatives. On Saturday I was able to interview two sisters who were my mom's first cousins. I had not really met them before so my mom's sisters Margie and Betty set up a lunch meeting with them. Their family lived with my great-grandparents after their father became ill and they lost their own home. (I think there is another story there.) As Michael J. Crusham was the first in the family to come over from Ireland, I was eager to hear what they had to say. Unfortunately their grandfather, Michael, died when they were still in grade school, so they had no idea why he left Ireland or who was on the ship with him. They did have some interesting stories to tell, and I shared some information with them that they hadn't known, so it was a good meeting. I was able to videotape an hour or so of it, until the battery on my camcorder died. It is kind of hard to be plugged in when you are at a restaurant. Because of side conversations I was not able to ask all of my questions, so I would like to meet up with them alone next time I go to Cincinnati.

After we left the restaurant my sister and I headed off to a second cousin's house. He is the one that has the diary of a distant relative (second cousin, twice removed to me), and I had contacted him ahead of time to see if he would consider letting me bring the diary back to St. Louis and scan it on Jim's big scanning machine at the office. Then I would return the diary to him. He agreed, as I will give a scanned copy to him as well. I was just a little concerned that we might never get a copy from whatever institution he ends up giving this diary to in the end. I will be talking more about the diary on Write Formation.

We got to see a number of other relatives as well on this trip, and had a lot of fun. Unfortunately all the visits took place around food since there really is no other place for us to meet. I always need to plan extra workouts after trips to Cincinnati!

The Ice Man Cometh

Friday morning we packed up the car and Kathy and I drove to Cincinnati for Uncle Mick's funeral. Kathy did well on the drive despite her aching broken shoulder. We arrived at our hotel by 3:30 and unloaded the suitcases in our room. Quite a few people were at the funeral home by the time we arrived. I spoke to many cousins I knew (and several I don't know), and enjoyed looking at the slide show and photo boards Mick's kids had put together. His casket was closed because he hit his face when he fell. I was surprised that the funeral home wasn't able to work around that by putting the injured side away from the opening of the casket, and working their make-up magic. I found it really hard to say good-bye when I couldn't see his sweet face.

There was no autopsy done, which also surprised me. I thought that they always did one when the cause of death was unknown. Did he simply fall and hit his head just so on the window sill? Did he have a heart attack, which caused the fall? Did he have a stroke first? I would want to know. What they do know is that he was out on his screened in porch in his winter coat (it was cold last Saturday night) listening to an Italian opera and smoking a cigar. His son and daughter-in-law found him at 3:00 Sunday afternoon. They could hear the opera playing as they walked down the hall of the condominium complex. I'm surprised no neighbors complained if the music played all night.

We stayed at the wake until the funeral home kicked us out around 6:15. Ten of us then went to the Price Hill Chili Parlor for supper. I spied chocolate covered baklava on the menu, so I had a bowl of soup so I could indulge in dessert. Awesome! Kathy and I got back to our hotel room around 9:15. It was beginning to mist as we drove back to the hotel, and that was just the beginning. The forecast was for an inch of ice to develop. Great...It brought back really bad memories of my dad's funeral in Cincinnati in 2004. We had rain, ice, sleet and inches of snow all within a 24 hour period. Hardly anyone could get to the funeral, and fewer still headed to the cemetery for the military burial service.

The funeral director had advised that we arrive early Saturday morning for the funeral because a) the church is in a really bad neighborhood and b) parking is a problem. Kathy and I took him at his word. I went out to scrape the ice off my car at 8:10. Twenty minutes later I was finally able to see out of the windows. I picked Kathy up under the overhang of the hotel and we crept across one of the bridges over the Ohio River to downtown Cincinnati. We arrived at the church at 9:00. The funeral was to begin at 10:00. We were the first ones there. We even beat the immediate family. This is why we were so close to the beginning of the funeral procession, which becomes important later in the story.

The Old St. Mary's Church is absolutely amazing inside. It was built in 1841 and is reminiscent of the churches in Europe. Apparently Uncle Mick had done some of the painting on the ceiling (just like Michelangelo, he would joke) during the restoration of the church, as well as behind the altar. He also helped author a book on the history of the church. (You can begin to see why he and I had so much in common.)

The priest who conducted the funeral was of Spanish descent, and to be honest I only understood about half of what he was saying. At one point I thought he said something about "release the cocktails". I puzzled on that for a moment until I realized he said "release the captives." Then I thought I heard him say a "hologram to heaven" - never did figure that one out. Irreverently the Saturday Night Live skit with Father Guido Sarducci (wrong country, I know) popped into my head during the service. Find the pope in the pizza contest... I was disappointed that the there wasn't a little more personalization to the Mass considering all that Uncle Mick had done for the church. The man who did the second reading - a cousin to Uncle Mick's deceased wife - tried to make that happen. When he approached the microphone he said, "I'd like to make an observation..." and then he stopped. Apparently the second priest, who was seated behind where he was speaking said, "No! No observations!" It was an awkward moment. One thing that was interesting about the Mass is that for communion we all came up and knelt at the communion rail, and you took the host on your tongue not in your hands. (Okay, that kind of sounds like an M & M commercial.)

Following Mass we went in procession to Spring Grove Cemetery. This is the same cemetery that my cousin Gina and I had photographed when I was in Cincinnati in August. It is similar to the Fort Bellefontaine Cemetery in St. Louis in that it is beautiful, hilly and filled with the who's who of city founding fathers. The first thing we saw when we drove through the gates was a sign that said something about hazardous driving conditions, and enter at your own risk. Not good. We were the fourth car in the procession following the hearse. Things were going okay until we came to a steep hill and the vehicles ahead of me came to a stop. My first thought was no! Don't stop going up the hill; I'll never get started again. My second was that this is where they expected us to park for the graveside funeral, and that we would have to walk up an icy hill. Not happening! Then I noticed that the hearse was sliding sideways. The driver got out of the vehicle and waved the car behind him around. He got back in the hearse and tried again. This time he slid off the side of the road. You can see in the picture where the other cars are in relation to where the hearse ended up. As the funeral director and his assistant were contemplating what to do, I noticed that the car behind me was right on my back bumper. Really? There was no way for me to even try to turn around with him so close.

After consulting on their phones, they decided we all would have to back down the hill and they would conduct the service at the chapel. I don't do backup well. Even on a straight, dry area. Now they want me to back down a steep, curving, icy hill? I gave the bumper parker plenty of time to get down the hill before I began my descent to a flat area where I could turn around on the side street. By now there were only two vehicles ahead of me and one behind me from our procession. The blind leading the blind through this huge cemetery. Which chapel? There are at least six in the cemetery. You've heard of the wedding crashers? We were the funeral crashers, as we weren't the only ones trying to bury a loved one on an icy, miserable January day.

We finally located cars with our particular funeral flags on their roofs and hurried in to hear the priest speak his last words over the casket. (I later learned that they were going to start without us until one of my cousins informed the funeral director that Mick's two sisters and her out of town cousins were not present yet.) Here was the personalized eulogy I had been hoping to hear. This priest obviously knew my uncle well, and shed tears with the rest of us. The marines came in as Taps was played, and the military burial service was conducted. Not a dry eye in the house.

Following this final service we all headed over to the club house of Mick's condominium complex for a reception. It was very nice, and you couldn't help but think how much Mick would have enjoyed seeing everyone. It broke up around 5 and Kathy & I along with Aunt Margie and her son Pat, daughter Mary Ann, and Mary Ann's daughter Gina decided to go out to supper. We told stories and had some laughs, and I think it helped take Margie's mind off of her brother's death for a bit. I had told Mary Ann that we would give Margie a ride home because it was out of her way to take her mom home and she had to pack for a business trip. Anyway Kathy and I had not had any time alone with Margie and normally we get to spend a lot of time with her when we are in town. Aunt Margie will turn 90 this summer, but she still lives at home and drives herself everywhere. Except when the iceman cometh.

After we ate I went to move my car as close to the restaurant as I could. Gina got her grandma settled in the front seat and Kathy got into the back. Because of her broken shoulder she cannot fasten the seat belt by herself. Mary Ann tried to help her and she couldn't get it to work. Then Gina opened the other back door and tried to approach it from that direction. She slipped on some ice and barely was able to catch herself. By now we were all laughing so hard we couldn't see straight. I asked the question, "How many Crushams does it take to fasten a seat belt?" They finally got her buckled in and we headed over to Margie's.

When I pulled into her driveway, it was a sheet of ice. She opened her garage door and I pulled as close as I could to the back of her car. I still had to slowly walk around my car holding on for dear life to get to her car door. After getting her safely into the garage I then had to get Kathy from my back seat into the front for a slip-slidey trip back across the river to our hotel. I was never so happy to get to a hotel room as I was last night. The drive home today was accomplished not with ice but with fog instead. Ei, yi, yi! But we made it, so that is all that matters at this point.

Road Trip

Early tomorrow morning my sister and I will head over to Cincinnati for Uncle Mick's funeral. I got the car all cleaned and gassed up today so we can hit the road as soon as she gets to my house. The wake is from 4-6 p.m. tomorrow, and with the hour time change we need to roll early. I have built in extra time due to Kathy's broken shoulder. Because it still pains her quite a bit, I want to be able to stop frequently for her to get out and move around if need be. I also want to check into our hotel first if we have time. I have learned the hard way that even with a guaranteed room you will get the crappy location if you check in late.

The funeral itself is Saturday morning at the Old St. Mary's Church. As mentioned in my last post, Uncle Mick was a long-time volunteer there. I expect that the church will be full between our large family, the Cincinnati Museum folks and the parishioners of St. Mary's. I always think at these things how much the deceased person would have enjoyed having everyone together.

We will come home on Sunday. Normally we spend an extra day in Cincinnati, but since we will see everyone we want to see on Friday or Saturday, there doesn't seem to be much point in hanging around. Especially since we are paying for a hotel this trip. Now I will just pray for good weather so that no one has to worry about traveling.

It's All Relative

My sister and I are in Cincinnati this weekend. We drove over on Thursday afternoon and will head home tomorrow. Usually we stay with our cousin Gene and his wife Rita. This weekend they had lots of family plans with a birthday party, flag football game, children coming in from out of town with grandchildren, etc. We looked at coming a different weekend, but it seemed like nothing was going to work out with everyone's schedules. We had selected this weekend because the International Quilt Show is meeting in Cincinnati for the very first time, and Kathy and I are both quilters.

We decided to come this weekend anyway and stay in a hotel. There are no hotels near our aunts or cousins, so we are staying in Florence, KY. It is about a 15 minute drive to downtown Cincinnati from here, but the hotel room was a lot cheaper than staying downtown. The Clarion Inn & Suites is quite nice, and our rooms are large and comfortable. My only complaint is that there is a group of kids here (college? high school?), and they are noisy in the hallway and with slamming doors. But that is not the hotel's fault. Where are the stupid chaperons?

Anyway, our first stop after we checked in Thursday night was Skyline Chili for the famous chili three way - spaghetti, Skyline chili and grated cheese. What a way to begin our mini-vacation! Then Friday morning we headed for downtown Cincinnati along with 5,000 other quilters. The quilt show was amazing! They have hundreds of fantastic quilts on display, and booths of vendors selling every kind of quilting supply imaginable. After five hours I walked away with only the batting I need for the graduation quilt I am making. Boy could I have gotten a good deal on a new quilting machine. It was only $15,000!

Because we were at the show until 4:30 and were meeting 6 of our relatives for supper at 6:00, we decided to drive directly to the Newport Levee where the restaurant is located instead of all the way to our hotel and back again. We enjoyed sitting outside and looking across the river at the Cincinnati skyline. This area (Ohio and Kentucky sides of the river) has really been revitalized and offer lots to do. They have been successful in drawing both tourists and locals back to their river fronts. Supper was awesome, and the restaurant allowed us to hang out and talk until after 9:00.

This morning Kathy and I went back to downtown Cincinnati to an area called Findlay Market. It is the oldest continuously running outdoor market in Ohio, and has been around for over 150 years. Knowing that my ancestors worked and shopped in the area was very exciting for me. I don't know how I missed coming to this before now. It reminds me a bit of Soulard Market back home. After that we picked up Aunt Margie and Aunt Betty (my mom's two remaining sisters) and went to the Golden Corral to meet up with a couple of cousins. We were there for 6 hours! They are so nice to us that we always go there when we come into town. They don't mind that we sit and visit that long. We dropped the aunts off around 7:00 and then came back to our neck of the woods in Kentucky. We will head for home in the morning as Jim and I have tickets to the Repertory Theater at 7:00 tomorrow night.