Reflecting on Mother's Day

my brother Joe, mom & me

Mother's Day has always been more about my mom and my mother-in-law than me, even after I had children. I guess it is natural to think about the one who gave birth to you. I haven't been able to celebrate my mom in person since 1989, when she died in a car accident as she and my dad were driving back to Cincinnati from visiting my brother in Colorado.

My mom was only 69 when she died, which is my age now. I have thought about that a lot, so I decided to calculate exactly how old she was on the day of her death. AI informed me that she was 69 years, 193 days old. Then I entered my own date of birth to see exactly how old I am currently. At that point, I was 3 days older than my mom on the day she died. Let me tell you, that gives you a lot to think about. Even at my age, I don't give a lot of thought to dying. I doubt my mom did either. When they left for their trip to Colorado, I'm sure she didn't even consider that it would be the last time she would ever see her home.

I'm forever grateful that they stopped to see us in St. Louis on their way to my brother's house. It was the last time I saw her, laughed with her, hugged her. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her and think of things I'd like to share with her. But it hits home particularly on Mother's Day, especially since my mother-in-law died in 2020.

Love and miss both of my "moms", who were such incredibly loving women and exceptional role models for me and all their children and grandchildren. Hopefully I still make you both proud. 

Relatives in Reno

American Airlines

Last week we flew to Reno to see Jim's aunt, uncle (M & L) and cousins. Jim's dad was one of 11 children, and only two are still alive. It has been many years since we have seen them, and I had never visited Reno. I had a conference at Lake Tahoe over 40 years ago, but I did not have time to really see the area, so this trip was an opportunity to see not only family, but also do some sight-seeing.

Jim's cousin and his wife (J & C), whom we had visited in Phoenix in March, also flew in. The four of us stayed at the Peppermill Resort Hotel, which is also a big casino. None of us are gamblers, but the hotel was recommended by the local cousins. It was beautiful, and the location was good for what we wanted to do and see.

We saw Jim's aunt and uncle along with one of their daughters the first night we arrived, and had a lovely meal with them. It is always great when you get together with people you haven't seen in years, but can pick up right where you left off.

The next morning we picked up donuts and went to M & L's house for a bit before heading out to tour the area. Jim's cousin had prepared a great map for us, and we visited Truckee (a charming town) before driving around Lake Tahoe. We picked up sandwiches and ate them along the lake as it was such a pretty day. What a gorgeous area! Back at M & L's we were treated to another delicious dinner.

Truckee and Lake Tahoe

We began Friday morning with pickleball at a wonderful indoor facility called 3rd Shot Pickleball. We are so fortunate that J & C love to play as well! Surprisingly, we were the only ones playing. It's hard to pay the rent with that kind of revenue (or lack thereof). After stopping to have coffee with M & L, we drove to Virginia City and had lunch in an old saloon. We went back to M & L's for dinner and met up with some more of the cousins. On the way back to the hotel, we drove to see some of Reno's iconic sights lit up at night.

Reno signs at night

Saturday morning we hit the pickleball courts again, only to find that we were once again the only people in the building. After a half hour or so, a lady came in and met with a coach. It was so surprising to see a lack of players on a Saturday, especially as the weather wasn't great. Following play we went back to the hotel to clean up, and then did a driving tour of Reno. I always research ahead of time to see what oddities exist in or on the way to our destination, and I found no lack of choices in Reno. The cousins got a kick out of trying to find them. We went out to dinner with a few of the cousins.

Reno oddities

J & C were flying out on Sunday afternoon, so we all met for a lovely brunch at M & L's house. Many of the local relatives were able to come, so it was great to be able to catch up and meet the newest members of the family. We were loaned a car in the afternoon, and went to Donner's Pass to the museum. We learned of the sad tale of a settlers group who had tried to take a wagon train to California, only to get trapped by a freak blizzard. The weather Sunday was cool and rainy, with the wind chill making it feel like 35 degrees. We opted not to do any hiking or walk along the lake. We grabbed lunch a a cute barbecue restaurant (which seemed a little ironic considering the information we had just learned at the museum), and then headed back to our hotel.

We returned the car to L the next morning, and had a last good-bye with M & L before going to the airport. Our flight left Reno pretty much on time, and we had a layover in Dallas. The flight out of Dallas was delayed, and instead of getting home at 9:50 at night we didn't get in until 11:20. But despite all the hassles, it was so good to be able to see all the relatives, especially since family reunions are probably a thing of the past.

In the Garden

One of the things I miss most about St. Louis is the opportunity to go to the Missouri Botanical Garden, widely considered one of the best botanical gardens in the world. We had a membership there for many years, and visited frequently as the gardens were always showing off different blooms. 

Here in our area we have the Daniel Stowe Botanical Garden, which has just been renamed the Daniel Stowe Conservancy. There is no comparison between the gardens, though that is not surprising as the Missouri Botanical Garden was opened in 1859. Stowe, while much larger at 320 acres, only opened in 1999. It has not had a lot of time to mature, nor does it have the funding of the garden in St. Louis. Much of the property has been left to its native state and is not planted in gardens at all.

Nevertheless, we have been to Stowe numerous times, including three years in a row to see the holiday lights. In March we purchased a membership to help support the garden. An added benefit is that the membership entitles us to entry into 300 other reciprocal gardens throughout North America. We recently were able to gain admission to the Desert Botanical Garden in Phoenix, which has already paid for the membership.

We went to the Stowe garden last week for the first time this year. We had barely made it through the door when we heard our names being called. One of the gals that works at a pickleball center that we go to was there with her family, and saw us come in. It always surprises me when someone knows us in Charlotte, even though we have been here over five years now.

It was a beautiful day, and a nice time to enjoy the spring flowers and get out in nature.

Daniel Stowe Conservancy