Reflecting on Mother's Day

my brother Joe, mom & me

Mother's Day has always been more about my mom and my mother-in-law than me, even after I had children. I guess it is natural to think about the one who gave birth to you. I haven't been able to celebrate my mom in person since 1989, when she died in a car accident as she and my dad were driving back to Cincinnati from visiting my brother in Colorado.

My mom was only 69 when she died, which is my age now. I have thought about that a lot, so I decided to calculate exactly how old she was on the day of her death. AI informed me that she was 69 years, 193 days old. Then I entered my own date of birth to see exactly how old I am currently. At that point, I was 3 days older than my mom on the day she died. Let me tell you, that gives you a lot to think about. Even at my age, I don't give a lot of thought to dying. I doubt my mom did either. When they left for their trip to Colorado, I'm sure she didn't even consider that it would be the last time she would ever see her home.

I'm forever grateful that they stopped to see us in St. Louis on their way to my brother's house. It was the last time I saw her, laughed with her, hugged her. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her and think of things I'd like to share with her. But it hits home particularly on Mother's Day, especially since my mother-in-law died in 2020.

Love and miss both of my "moms", who were such incredibly loving women and exceptional role models for me and all their children and grandchildren. Hopefully I still make you both proud. 

If Tomorrow Never Comes

We learned today of the death of Paul Gassman. Gus, as he was called by the Alph Sigs, was a fraternity brother of Jim's at Iowa State. They were in the same pledge class, and I became a Little Sister of the house the same year. Paul was always full of life and fun, with joy bursting from within every time he opened his mouth. A deeply religious man, he was a great student despite majoring in the tough curriculum of mechanical engineering. He married a girl from the pom pom squad immediately following graduation, and they had a son nine months later. When she inexplicably left him two years later, we were all stunned. He was handsome, built, had a great job and was truly the nicest person I have ever known. What's not to love?

Luckily he met Crystal some years later, and they married and had two little girls, who I think are now about 9 and 11. My brother's wife died when their children were 3, 6 and 9 so I know what a tough road Crystal has ahead of her. I don't understand why the truly beautiful people of the world have to die and the people that are ugly inside and out go on existing. My thoughts and prayers are with the Gassman family as they try to make sense of something that clearly seems nonsensical.