Saying Goodbye to My Sister

 My only sister Kathy died very unexpectedly of a massive heart attack on September 11th. She was only 76 - much too young to die. While I deeply regret that she was taken from us at such an early age, I will be forever grateful that as far as we know she did not suffer. 

There was no question regarding whether or not we would attend the funeral, COVID or no COVID. Jim and I drove from Mount Holly as far as Paducah, KY on September 15th. There we spent the night at my request. Kathy and I had always talked about going there to see the National Quilt Museum as quilting was a hobby we both shared. On the morning of September 16th, Jim and I went through the museum in Kathy's memory. How she would have loved to see the vast variety of quilting styles! While totally different from the way that she and I quilted, they were works of art to behold.

National Quilt Museum

The next morning we drove the last four hours to St. Louis. Of course we had to drive by our old house and check it out. It looks like the new owners are taking good care of it, though the large oak tree on the north side of the house has died of old age. That will be expensive to remove, and we were thankful that it wasn't an expense we would have to undertake. Then we went to our old grocery store to pick up provisions for a few days. I rented a two flat house in the south city area for our family of six adults. Our kids were coming into town that night, and my niece Sara flew in from Texas in the afternoon. I wanted all of us in the same spot so we could spend time together. It ended up working out very well as each flat had two bedrooms, a bathroom, kitchen and living room.

Thursday the funeral home held a viewing for the family from 9-10 and then for friends from 10-12:30, with the funeral following at Immaculate Conception Catholic Church at 1:00. Up to that point, Kathy's death had seemed surreal. All that changed when faced with seeing her in a coffin. It was so hard to experience the grief of her husband and children while at the same time trying to get a handle on my own. I know our kids struggled as well since Kathy had been way more than an aunt to her. Our own mother died when Andy was only 4, so Kathy became a surrogate grandmother to him and later on to Katie as well.

The funeral was very personal as the priest knew Kathy well due to her attendance at Mass (even virtually when COVID hit) as well as her participation in the Daughters of Isabella (D of I) at the parish. Nearly everyone wore a mask in church, as they had in the funeral home, and we were spaced out in every other pew. Following the service the D of I ladies held a luncheon for the family in the Knights of Columbus hall. My sister was to be buried at Jefferson Barracks Cemetery since her husband had served in the Navy. But cemetery regulations right now are not allowing any graveside services, so we went back to the AirBNB after the luncheon. Several family members came over later, and we played a rousing game of Yahtzee in Kathy's memory. It was her favorite game, and she nearly always was the winner. It seemed a fitting end to a day filled with grief, tears, laughter and shared memories.

Kathy & me

Never Forget

 How ironic that I posted on September 11th about 9/11 and how we should never forget that date and it's importance to not only the United States but also the world. I now have an additional reason I will never forget. Friday afternoon my only sister died very unexpectedly. At 11 years older than me she was often a second mother to me as well as my big sister. Coming so close on the heels of losing both my beloved father-in-law and mother-in-law, this is such a heavy burden to bear. It really has not sunk in yet. As I do best in such times putting my feelings into a poem, below sums up my current state of mind.

Kathy Lane memorial

Family Affair

My sister and I drove to Cincinnati last weekend for the Crusham family reunion. Once held every other year (sort of) at a park in the heat of August, one of the female cousins took charge several years ago and secured a room at Price Hill Chili in the fall. For three years in a row we have not had to endure heat, humidity, rain or bugs. It is also easier for the elders in the family to get in and out of this location, the bathrooms are clean and the chairs are more comfortable. Genius! The added bonus is that the restaurant serves breakfast all day, so I can get my Goetta fix taken care of at the same time.

Kubler family

But our first stop upon arrival Friday night was a German restaurant in Newport, Kentucky to meet with the last surviving sibling of my dad along with her three children. It is always nice to see them and catch up on their lives. I had a bit of trouble locating the restaurant as my GPS did not recognize the address. This led to us hitting street closures, roads that did not connect between Covington and Newport, and an unexpected trip over the river into downtown Cincinnati during rush hour and a Reds game. To top it off, my sister's phone had frozen, and she had the cell number of the cousin who had arranged the meeting place. We were like the Keystone Cops, and felt every bit as incompetent as the bumbling police in the show. We finally arrived at the restaurant 20 minutes late. I guess it could have been worse. The conversation was good as was the food. When the German band began to play, however, it was time to head out as the sound was deafening.

From there we drove to a Crusham cousin G's house, where we would be spending the weekend. Unfortunately, he became extremely dizzy soon after our arrival, and he had to be taken to the hospital via ambulance. My sister jokingly told him that if he didn't want us to come he should have just said so! He ended up spending two nights in the hospital with a diagnosis of severe vertigo. As he was concerned he was having a stroke, this was good news indeed.

Saturday morning I met a female cousin for breakfast, and then my sister and I went to the hospital to check on G. We stayed there until it was time for Mass at St. Theresa's, which is located across from Price Hill Chili. The proximity meant we were the first to arrive for the reunion, so we settled in with a drink and some popcorn while we waited. A number of our relatives were out of town or had other plans that night, but we still ended up with 29 people. The oldest in the group was my mom's first cousin, who is 97 and enjoyed a Bloody Mary. There are only two girls left in my mom's immediate family, and they are 94 and 89 years old. Longevity is pretty good in the clan. We had a great time, as always.

Sunday afternoon we went and visited with our 94 year old aunt for awhile as it is difficult to catch up when there is a big crowd. Then we took her to a steakhouse, where we met up with her daughter and granddaughter. That pretty much wrapped up the weekend, and we headed home on Monday.

While I was gone, Jim took Kirby up to Iowa. His parents wanted to see Kirby while he is still feeling good. We were cherishing memories in both Ohio and Iowa this weekend.

A Birthday and Some Cakeway to the West Cake

My sister had a big birthday yesterday and because I am a nice baby sister, I will not mention how big. I took her out for lunch on Monday because I had a class at the Missouri Botanical Garden yesterday, and she has breakfast with friends every Tuesday morning anyway. On the ay to pick her up in Union, I stopped at the Endangered Wolf Center to snap a few photos of their cake. The facility was closed, but the cake is located outside their gates so that wasn't a problem. This location is one of the fifty that was selected for a cake by public vote, and the artist is Maura Pusateri.

Endangered Wolf Center

The Endangered Wolf Center was established in 1971 by Marlin and Carol Perkins. The mission of the organization is to preserve and protect Mexican gray wolves, red wolves and other endangered canids. The 63 wooded acres just west of St. Louis, Missouri off Interstate 44 provides the wolves and other canids the opportunity to thrive and hopefully be reintroduced back into their native habitats.Tours and special events are offered at the center, as well as opportunities for scouts to work on their badges.

Shaw Nature Reserve

My second stop was at Shaw Nature Reserve, located in Gray Summit, Missouri.   The property was purchased by the Missouri Botanical Garden in 1925, and  currently consists of 2,400 acres of land. There are numerous hiking trails, and bicycles are allowed as well. With the ever changing landscape of native plants, the reserve is a photographer's dream and beautiful in every season. Artist for this cake is Elaine Taylor.

Purina Farms

Located near Shaw Nature Reserve is Purina Farms. I have to confess that I have never been to this destination, despite having raised two children who both went through the scouting programs. I am not even sure they ever went there on a field trip. And that is really too bad, as this free venue offers wagon rides, dog agility performances, cow-milking demonstrations, and a baby animal petting area. I can't wait to have visitors this summer so we can check it all out.

On this trip, however, I neglected to follow my own advice and I didn't look at their operating hours. I assumed (you know what happens!) that since it is June they would be open. Wrong! They are closed on Mondays. However, a very nice security guard let me enter after extracting a promise that I would grab a quick shot and leave. The website for stl250.org indicated that the cake is located in the arena by the Visitor's Center. I drove around a bit, and did not spy the cake. My hero showed up in a golf cart and offered to take me to the cake. Evidently it was not where it had originally been placed, as he didn't see it either. While walking around he said that no one told security they were getting a cake, and all of a sudden people were showing up at the gate saying they were there for the cake. "I was pissed off for two weeks because no one offered me any cake!" Ha, ha! We eventually saw the cake at the bottom of some stairs, and I took a couple quick pictures and then took off after thanking him for his assistance.There is no artist listed for this cake, so perhaps someone on the staff designed and painted it.

After I picked up my sister we stopped in downtown Union to capture the cake at the Franklin County Courthouse, designed by artist Paul LaFlam before driving to Washington for the Washington Historical Society's cake, by artist Gina Harmon.

Franklin county Courthouse

Washington Historical Society

Old Dutch Hotel & Tavern

We had lunch in Washington at the Old Dutch Hotel & Tavern. The original hotel opened 80 years ago, but this remodeled facility just re-opened a couple of years ago. Our waitress was great, though the food was slow coming out despite the fact that they were not crowded. It didn't matter to us as we were busy catching up, and both of us thought our meals were great.

So it was a good day, with five more cakes off my list (which brings me to 145 cakes) and fun times with my sister celebrating her birthday. And hey, I even got her a cake!

If Tomorrow Never Comes

We learned today of the death of Paul Gassman. Gus, as he was called by the Alph Sigs, was a fraternity brother of Jim's at Iowa State. They were in the same pledge class, and I became a Little Sister of the house the same year. Paul was always full of life and fun, with joy bursting from within every time he opened his mouth. A deeply religious man, he was a great student despite majoring in the tough curriculum of mechanical engineering. He married a girl from the pom pom squad immediately following graduation, and they had a son nine months later. When she inexplicably left him two years later, we were all stunned. He was handsome, built, had a great job and was truly the nicest person I have ever known. What's not to love?

Luckily he met Crystal some years later, and they married and had two little girls, who I think are now about 9 and 11. My brother's wife died when their children were 3, 6 and 9 so I know what a tough road Crystal has ahead of her. I don't understand why the truly beautiful people of the world have to die and the people that are ugly inside and out go on existing. My thoughts and prayers are with the Gassman family as they try to make sense of something that clearly seems nonsensical.

Girl Talk

My sister returned from a month in Belize last Wednesday night. Because she lives out on a difficult country road and snow was predicted, she stayed at her daughter's house until Sunday. With another storm on the way on Sunday she came and stayed with me since Jim is up in Iowa. We had fun catching up on all that has happened since she was gone, and cooking with another woman was a treat. Other than that, one day we went and ran some errands, but we pretty much stayed close to home. She thinks her road is passable today, so she took off this morning.

Jim is expected back today. In fact he was supposed to come home yesterday but Iowa got a lot more snow than we did and the winds pretty much made for blizzard conditions up north. He wanted to get on the road about 7 this morning, but his mom needs to have fluid drained off her lung at noon. She begged him to stay until that is done. Now he hopes to leave by 1:30 or so. Because he is leaving from Mason City where the hospital is located, that will add on to his drive time. The doctors are now pushing to do Lorraine's carotid artery surgery in about 6 weeks, so this will all start up again a lot sooner than anyone expected. Oh dear...

Wild Things at the Zoo - Inside & Outside the Cages!

My great niece asked me if I would go on a field trip to the zoo with her first grade class. Seems they were short one chaperon, and the trip would be cancelled without another adult. No pressure...Upon hearing that I would meet them at the zoo and not be required to accompany them on the bus (been there, done that!) from Illinois, I agreed. My sister decided to go with me since I would be driving and she wouldn't have to navigate the maze that is Forest Park, let alone the Highway 40 construction and the resulting closure of the Hampton Avenue entrance to the zoo. This time of year I imagine most days at the zoo have busloads of students arriving for field trips, but I was amazed at all the kids pouring into the entrance of the Living World building. The noise level built to a crescendo in a room designed more for looks and traffic flow than acoustics. Cordy's bus arrived about 20 minutes behind schedule, so her classmates were particularly ready to get outside and enjoy the sunny, albeit cool, day. We divided up into our little groups and headed off to explore all the zoo has to offer. Well, as much of it as seven year old legs coupled with 50 something and 60 something year old legs could handle. Despite the blue sky and bright sunshine, there was a bit of nip in the air, so we welcomed the forays into the inside exhibits. Except, of course, the penguin house which is kept at 45 degrees or so year round. The cold coupled with the stench of a fish market kept our visit with the penguins fairly short. Overall it was a nice day to spend with my sister and my great niece, and a reminder to be thankful that I no longer have to go on field trips with my own children!