Thoughts on Mother's Day

Mother's Day

Mother's Day always brings mixed emotions. For me the day has always been about my mom, and later my mother-in-law. Even when I became a mom in 1985, I stilled viewed that day as being about the two most important women in my life. My mom died in a car accident in 1989, and my mother-in-law quietly and lovingly patched the hole in my heart. Since she is now gone as well, it is a bittersweet day.

Both of our children live pretty far away from us, so I did not see them on Sunday, except through FaceTime. God bless technology and the capabilities it brings to help us keep in touch. My husband made me breakfast, and then we later picked up lunch and ate it at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte in their botanical garden. It was a beautiful day, and many people had the same idea as us.

UNCC Botanical Garden

Later Jim grilled steaks, and we enjoyed a nice dinner in our screened porch. We went outside after it got dark in an attempt to see the aurora borealis, but old aurora did not make an appearance. Apparently people in our neighborhood saw it on Friday night, but we missed it.

Happy 4th!

Mount Holly fireworks

We began celebrating the 4th of July on June 29th, which is when our community of Mount Holly put on their fireworks display. They alternate dates with the surrounding communities so that they don't compete with each other. It is kind of nice because you can go see fireworks every night for several days if you want. Though we went by ourselves, we ended up sitting with other people from our community, which was fun.

Our son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter drove down for a visit on June 30th. Luckily many people in our neighborhood have baby items they are willing to lend out. It's been over 30 years since we have had a high chair in the house! 

It was the first time the baby had gone on a long car ride, and she did great. She also did well sleeping in her pack-n-play, which they hadn't tried before. Another first was a visit to our community swimming pool. She was not too sure that she liked that, but seemed to enjoy the wading pool we put in our screened porch the next day.

The kids were able to go out twice while they were here, while we watched the baby. They do not have any family living near them, so adult time is pretty scarce for them. Needless to say, we were happy to have the baby all to ourselves.

We will go up to visit them in September, and I am hoping that our little gal will remember us. I know that around 8 or 9 months they start to be afraid of strangers. Hopefully with enough FaceTime she will still recognize us.

 

A First Mother's Day

Mother's Day flowers

We were able to spend Mother's Day with our son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter. It was a year of firsts, as Megan celebrated her first Mother's Day and I celebrated my first Mother's Day as a grandma. What a special time!

On the day before Mother's Day we went to a winery, and Baby W was as good as gold. Then on Sunday Andy surprised us with flowers, and the guys made us a nice steak dinner with all the trimmings. The kids also gave me a Grandmother's Journal. It contains a lot of questions about my family tree, childhood, teen years, adulthood, marriage, birth of my son, etc. I have been enjoying the thought-provoking questions. I try to answer a few every day so it is not so overwhelming. Hopefully my granddaughter will enjoy reading through it some day. How I would have loved to read about either of my grandmothers, in their own words!

We were able to spend several days with the kids, and it is so wonderful to observe the changes in the baby each time we visit. We are hoping that they will be able to come and see us next month.

Happy Anniversary Baby

wedding anniversary

Friday was our 44th wedding anniversary. It's hard to wrap my head around that. We met at Iowa State University when we were 18 years old, and started dating a few months later. We married shortly after graduation, and relocated to St. Louis where Jim had secured a job. In St. Louis we completed master's degrees, raised a family and built a good life.

When we retired to the Charlotte area nearly three years ago, we didn't know anyone or much about the area. It was a huge leap of faith to come here, and only a strong marriage could survive the stress and upheaval of the massive move. During one of our three years here we buried both Jim's mom and dad, and my beloved sister. Having someone to share the grieving process with made all the difference in the world in how we coped with the huge losses.

The support network within our new community is phenomenal as well. Because we are in a 55+ community, we have experienced many deaths already. But I think most of us moved here in the hopes that the community will wrap us in a loving embrace when we experience a severe health issue or death in our family. That has certainly proven to be true so far. I am confident that when something happens to me or Jim, our neighbors will rally around the survivor. And the community will share in the grieving process.

Getting back to our anniversary, we didn't do a lot to celebrate this year, save for going out for a meal at one of our favorite restaurants. It offers waterside dining, so we always know we can sit outside. But as next year will be the 45th anniversary, we are already thinking of something big to do in honor of that occasion. We are both eager to cruise again, but there are still so many people getting Covid on the ships that it just doesn't seem worth the risk yet. Maybe by next summer it will be more under control. Who can say?

College Tuition? Check!

I wrote the final tuition check for Katie last week. Well, if I am being totally accurate, I authorized our MOST 529 plan to write a check to the college for her last semester tuition. It is another one of those parent moments that marks the passage of time and transitions in our children's lives. In some ways it seems like only last year that we wrote our first check to Columbia College, then packed up all her stuff and delivered her to the dorm in Chicago. Since that time she spent nine months in a wonderful condo-like apartment in the city, five weeks in Prague, two weeks in Seoul and nearly four months in Shanghai. She wraps up her final semester in Los Angeles, with semester being defined as a five week time period of attending classes all day, five days a week. (The school knows that no college student - or their parents - could afford to live in LA for more than five weeks.) When she returns the latter part of February it will be time for her to begin the job hunt. She seems to feel that she will not have any problem getting a job. I admire her confidence and pray that she is right. It is still such a tough market out there right now.

Due to the fact that Katie is graduating in less than three years, we have money left over in the 529 plan. That is a great position to be in, but we don't want to withdraw the money and be penalized. So, what to do with it? Do I hear a PhD calling my name?

If Tomorrow Never Comes

We learned today of the death of Paul Gassman. Gus, as he was called by the Alph Sigs, was a fraternity brother of Jim's at Iowa State. They were in the same pledge class, and I became a Little Sister of the house the same year. Paul was always full of life and fun, with joy bursting from within every time he opened his mouth. A deeply religious man, he was a great student despite majoring in the tough curriculum of mechanical engineering. He married a girl from the pom pom squad immediately following graduation, and they had a son nine months later. When she inexplicably left him two years later, we were all stunned. He was handsome, built, had a great job and was truly the nicest person I have ever known. What's not to love?

Luckily he met Crystal some years later, and they married and had two little girls, who I think are now about 9 and 11. My brother's wife died when their children were 3, 6 and 9 so I know what a tough road Crystal has ahead of her. I don't understand why the truly beautiful people of the world have to die and the people that are ugly inside and out go on existing. My thoughts and prayers are with the Gassman family as they try to make sense of something that clearly seems nonsensical.