Our Hearts are Broken

Late yesterday afternoon we had Kirby put to sleep. In the past few days he had seemed more restless, particularly at night. He spent a lot of time on the tile floor of the conservatory, despite the cold temperature. The conservatory was definitely his room, with the couch serving as his throne where he could observe his subjects - the birds, bunnies and cats who traversed through our yard. And where he could watch for his most loyal subject (Jim) to arrive home. It was unusual for him to be spending so much time on the hard floor.

His tumor had continued to grow, but did not appear to be bothering him until yesterday. He had eaten well in the morning and taken his pills nicely for me. He and Jim took their normal long morning walk, and then we went out to do some Christmas shopping. Kirby still seemed fine, and Jim went to the office to do some work, and I headed upstairs to try to look at a website issue I've had ever since some cretins hacked into my web host and ruined four of my sites. Jim got home a little after four, and called up to me that Kirby was bleeding. He must have just been licking the tumor nonstop while we weren't watching. He was bleeding quite a bit, and his muzzle and feet were covered in blood. I knew what that meant as I had discussed this with the doctor a couple weeks ago when he aspirated this latest lump. Mast cell cancer is incurable, and he would continue to get these tumors. It was time to let him go. I called the emergency clinic while Jim was cleaning things up to let them know what was going on. It was the same facility where we had met with the oncologist, so they had a file on Kirby.

We wrapped Kirby up in towels and headed to the clinic. They immediately took us to a private room, which we very much appreciated. We spoke first with a technician, and she took Kirby away to insert a catheter into his leg in preparation for the medication. The vet took a look at him at the same time, and then the tech returned Kirby to Jim's lap. The very young vet then came in to talk to us. She confirmed that we wanted him put to sleep, and then said in light of all that was going on with him she felt this was the best decision. I told her it was hard to let him go though, as he was still eating and playing and wanting his daily walks. She said that it was a blessing that he did not have to go through all the really bad stuff that this cancer can cause. It was just the right thing to say to us. She asked if we wanted more time with him, and we said no because he was really agitated at the point. So she injected medicine to make him go to sleep, and then the final dose for his permanent rest. It was all very quick though he did take one last inhale that was a little disconcerting. She continued to listen for a heartbeat until there was none. 5:45 p.m. It was all over but the crying. Truer words...

After we got home I washed up the bloody towels and Jim's bloody clothes. I texted or emailed close family members to give them the news, asking them not to call us last night. We couldn't handle talking to anyone. Neither one of us ate dinner, or slept much last night. We were missing our bed buddy. When I went downstairs this morning, the first thing I did was check to see if Kirby's water bowl was filled. The pill bottles lined up on the counter made me cry. I woke up my computer only to see the website of the emergency clinic staring me in the eyes. The first email I read was from Merial, reminding me to apply Kirby's flea treatment.

Since I was bawling anyway, I went ahead and packed up all of his toys, leashes, food, etc. I discarded what needed to be thrown away, and hope to donate a couple of unused leashes and poop bags to someone who can use them. I also have an unopened box of flea treatment and sealed Heart Guard pills that I am hoping a shelter can use. We'll see...I can't deal with that yet, but at least it is all out of site. None of it will be out of mind, however.

Stupid Cancer

Kirby June 2016

When the new vet called me late last week, I did not immediately think the worst. He was asking how Kirby was doing, and truly the dog is doing well. He bounds up and down the stairs, jumps off the couch and bed, and does not seem to be in any pain. He has adjusted to his new normal of wearing the cone of shame. The only thing that has given me a little concern is the fact that his appetite seems to be off. Fortunately he still will take a bite of ham from me, which is great as that is how I disguise the pills he has to take. And he will normally eat the hard boiled egg that he and Jim share each morning, but he has not eaten much of his dry food. I suspect that he may be playing me a little, hoping he can hold out for more ham.

But then Dr. M. mentioned that the pathology report came back, and that is when my heart dropped. I figured it was probably bad news if he was calling me himself. The report stated that Kirby has mast cell cancer. Mast cells are present in all dogs, and they help other cells get to where they need to be to fight an infection. The mast cells release histamine, which causes tissue swelling so the white cells can travel through the tissue to reach the infection. But when a dog has mast cell cancer, the amount of histamines being released can be dangerous. A tumor is formed when the mast cells reproduce out of control. Mast cell tumors are the most common form of skin cancer in dogs. Certain breeds are at increased risk to get this type of cancer, including the Boston terrier, Boxer, English Bulldog, Bullmastiff, Labrador retriever, and other bull breeds. As a cockapoo, Kirby does not fall into any of those, so it is certainly odd that he got this.

Because Dr. M. found a second tumor when operating on Kirby, and that tumor involved a lymph node, Kirby's cancer is considered a Grade II out of III, and he has been given a "guarded" prognosis. I was advised to start him on 25mg of Benadryl twice a day to help combat all the histamines that the cancer is pouring into his system. And removal of the stitches was pushed back one week as this type of tumor has a tendency to come "unzipped". When asked if this means Kirby has to wear the cone for an additional week, the vet said that was up to us. He said we can remove it and see if Kirby leaves the stitches alone. My plan is to keep it on for the full two weeks, and then remove it to see how he does. I don't want to take if off and then have to put it back on.

Dr. M. said at this point he can recommend some veterinarian cancer specialists in St. Louis if we want to go that route. I have been reading up on mast cell cancer, and it sounds as if the first six months following surgery will be crucial. If Kirby doesn't have a recurrence of the cancer in that time period, studies show that 44% of dogs survived over four years following surgery. Since he is already over ten years old, that would be a good run.

Jim & Kirby

Jim was out of town for work when I got the call, so I waited until he got back home to tell him about
Kirby. He wasn't going to be able to do anything from where he was at, and I certainly didn't want him driving home alone with this weighing on him. We both love Kirby, but Jim is number one in Kirby's eyes. They are best buds. Jim and I are on the same page as far as thinking that we'd like to meet with a specialist if only to learn what to expect with this disease. We certainly would not be in favor of doing anything that would cause Kirby unnecessary pain, or make him extremely ill for whatever time he has left with us. But if there is something that can give us more time together without hurting him, we'd like to explore the options.

Skin cancer on both me and my dog - what are the odds?

Doggone It!

Kirby August 3

In the spring we noticed a small mass on Kirby's stomach. I pointed it out to the vet when I took him in to the office in early June for his annual physical. Kirby had a similar lump in 2015 that was removed in June of that year. The vet looked at the mass he had removed and didn't feel it was anything to worry about, so he did not send it off for a pathology report. This year, Dr. D. said he felt the lump was different and told me to keep an eye on it.

The mass grew a little between June and August, and when I took him to the groomer on the 1st of this month, I pointed it out to her so that she would be careful when trimming that area. He was fine when I brought him home that day. By Tuesday he was beginning to bother the lump through constant licking. I called Dr. D.'s office to schedule an appointment, and they told me they could get him in the next Tuesday. When I pushed the issue, they said I could bring him in Thursday, and they would stick him in a kennel until they could look at him. Complicating things was the fact that we were due to leave for Iowa (Kirby included) on Thursday. The pooch and I were going to stay with my mother-in-law while Jim took his dad and sister up to Minnesota for the Wolterman family reunion. All of my father-in-law's remaining five sisters were going to attend, and we really wanted him to be able to be there as well.

Kirby August 3

During the night on Tuesday, Kirby was not leaving the lump alone and it had grown noticeably. First thing Wednesday morning, Jim took him to the emergency vet hospital. They looked at the growth, said we needed to schedule surgery with our vet, and sent him home with antibiotics and the cone of shame. When I called our vet's office once they opened, they said they could do surgery on August 18th! Are you even kidding me? That's when I began to cry on the phone, and told the gal I couldn't make this poor dog wait two more weeks in his condition. I said, "You know when we need you guys, we NEED you!" This kind of wait for a practice that proclaims themselves to be an animal hospital is just unacceptable. She said she would talk to the vet when he got in and call me back. They ended up scheduling Kirby's surgery for Tuesday, August 9th.

Kirby August 4

The site of the tumor began to bleed a little during the night Wednesday, and he honestly looked like he had an udder hanging down. We decided that Jim would go on up to Iowa, and I would stay at home with Kirby. I didn't feel he could handle a 7 hour car ride, and they warned us that there was an outside chance this thing could burst. It that happened, it would be very messy. In the meantime, Kirby was dripping blood everywhere, so after consulting with a few people in the vet field, I ran to the store and got gauze pads and a gauze roll, and Jim helped me bandage him up before he left. The lump felt about the size of a golf ball!

It wasn't long before the bandage was saturated. I covered our new oriental rug with plastic and threw an old blanket over it for Kirby to sit on. In the meantime, I called both the vet's office, who said they would still see me on Tuesday, and the emergency hospital to advise them on the changes. I pleaded with the emergency tech for them to remove this tumor, and she said, "We don't do that kind of surgery" followed by "He won't bleed to death before Tuesday."

As luck would have it, my friend Caren came to the house at 2:00 to look at one of my websites that had been hacked. I had at the last minute sent her a text and told her I wasn't going out of town after all in case she had time to work on it. Caren is also the one who stays with our baby when we travel. She took one look at him (and the dripping blood), and said that something needed to be done. Her relative is a vet in town, so she called his practice. They said they would see us at 4:00, and at the very least would try to stop the bleeding. Caren drove me so that I could hold Kirby to keep him calm.

Once Dr. M. looked Kirby over and felt the tumor, he knew it was a pretty dire situation. He checked to see if one of his technicians could stay late, and then said they would do his surgery at 6:00 that night. I couldn't believe it, and I had to rush over and give him a hug. It was such a relief to know that Kirby would be taken care of, and to have someone finally take me and the situation seriously! He warned me that it was going to be a tricky surgery because of where the tumor was located. Let alone being so close to his pen*s, there are other organs and lots of blood vessels in that area. He anticipated that the surgery would take about an hour and a half, and said they would keep Kirby overnight. Caren and I left to go grab some dinner, and then went back to my house.

I got a call from Dr. M. saying they were beginning the surgery at 6:45, so I expected to hear around 8:30 that they were done. In fact, it was nearly 10:00 before we got a call. Of course we were all frantic by that point, imagining the worse. I guess they wanted to wait until he was awake from the anesthesia before they gave us a report. Dr. M. said when he got in there, Kirby was bleeding internally. As he removed the tumor, he made sure to take some tissue from around it so that hopefully there would be clean margins in the event that it is cancerous. He was shocked to find a second growth hiding behind the other tumor. He thought it was an enlarged lymph node, so he removed it as well. Other than that, everything went well, and Kirby had actually had a little to eat and drink after he was awake a bit. Dr. M. said to call him in the morning so he could tell me how Kirby was doing.

home from surgery

The next morning I got a positive report - the surgical site was looking fine, and Kirby had a good night. We set it up for me to come and get him at 9:30. Caren once again drove me to the clinic, and I stopped and picked up donuts and a fruit tray to express my gratitude to the entire office. Kirby was almost as happy to see me as the staff was to see the donuts - ha!  I asked about the size of the tumors, and Dr. M. said the first was larger than a golf ball, and the second one was just about as big. Kirby needs to wear the cone of shame until the stitches come out, which will be on the 18th. He was also sent home with antibiotics and pain pills. He is on limited activity, and no walks until the stitches are removed. That will be the hardest part for all of us as he normally gets three walks per day.

So far he is doing well. He is tolerating the medicines and the two incision sites look very good. Now we wait for the pathology report, and pray that nothing bad showed up.

Sicker Than a Dog?

Yesterday after I worked out I ran to Target to pick up some household items and additional wrapping paper and gift tags. When I got home I immediately sniffed something in the air. And it was not a good something. The dog was laying in his customary place on the couch in the conservatory, looking as innocent as a new baby. Walking through the house with my nose in the air (literally), I found that the dog had gotten sick in the sitting room off of the front entryway. And I don't mean by vomiting, which would have been way easier to deal with in this case. Our house has lots of hardwood floors, with some tile thrown in. Does the dog utilize any of that floor space? Oh no...he chooses the oriental rug to do the deed. The one with the long, white fringe around the edges.

Grabbing a bucket with water, carpet cleaner and a cloth, I knelt in the middle of the rug to begin the cleanup. Big mistake, I realize as I feel something seeping through my jeans. Apparently there was some spraying that went on. Ewwww! Without going into more gory details, I did the best I could with the rug. But I'm thinking it may be making a trip to Woodard's this weekend for a professional job. I doubt I did a thorough enough job.

This time of year Kirby's allergies kick into high gear. He has tested positive for moderate allergic reaction to grasses (fescue, rye, bluegrass - basically everything in our yard) as well as evergreens (also abundant in our yard). But what seems to bother him the most is junipers. I always thought it was weird that his allergies are worse in the winter, when most things have died off. But guess what blooms December through February? Junipers! Who knew? So I have an appointment to take him into the vet today for a check-up. He will probably clean out his ears, which tend to get infected when the allergies kick in, and perhaps give Kirby a prednisone shot. That shot lasts about a month and really relieves his itching. Poor Kirby - today it is going to get worse before it gets better!