Burn, Baby, Burn

thermos

Yesterday was my semi-annual visit to the dermatologist for skin cancer screening. Since last year was a banner year with four basal cell carcinomas having to be surgically removed within a six month time frame, I wasn't sure what kind of report I would be getting. My doctor, ever optimistic (not!), always enters the exam room with a red plaid thermos filled with liquid nitrogen in hand. I'm old enough to remember the plaid metal lunchbox that came with this exact thermos. What a way to spoil a childhood memory!

The procedure is known as cryotherapy, because liquid nitrogen is extremely cold - at around negative 328 degrees Fahrenheit. Using an extra-long, cotton-tipped swab, the doctor places the liquid nitrogen for ten seconds or so on each spot on my skin that he deems suspicious. The affected skin is frozen, and forms a blister which eventually dries up and falls off. The hope is that all the pre-cancerous cells are killed, and that the remaining cells underneath are healthy. Yesterday I had 25 spots frozen. Yikes! But the good news is that only six of those were on my face, and the doctor was not alarmed by any of the spots that he saw. I'll take that news.

As someone who grew up before the advent of sunblock and spent long, summer days playing outside with my friends, I've had lots of exposure to the sun. Add in my light skin, blue eyes and the fact that I wear my Irish heritage proudly, and I am the poster child for skin cancer. As my doctor says, "You shouldn't walk from the house to your car without wearing sunblock". I try to be vigilant about this.

Onto a happier topic...This weekend we were blessed with incredible weather, particularly on Saturday. I knew that my husband would go out for a motorcycle ride, so I left the house early and drove to the Audubon Center at Riverlands. Many migratory birds stop here during the winter months, and January is usually a good time to see the trumpeter swans. I wrote about visiting the center last January (you can read the post here), and mentioned that there were way fewer birds on site than in 2015. This year I think there were less birds than in 2016. I'm not sure what that means, but it may have something to do with the fact that the weather has been a little milder. Maybe they just don't have to travel so far south to survive the winter. It was a little disappointing, though the sixty plus degree weather helped me get over it.

Audubon Center at Riverlands

Continuing on my drive, I crossed over into Illinois to travel on the River Road. I was hoping to spy some eagles. I saw one swooping down overhead as I was driving, but none in the trees. Normally drivers are pulling over to the side of the road to take photographs or look through binoculars, but that didn't happen either. Driving through Grafton, I saw several cars turning down a side street. Following them, I finally saw an eagle high in a tree. The other photographers there said the eagle had been in the same spot for at least an hour. I snapped off a few photos of the eagle, and then caught this unusual bird formation in the sky. Doesn't it look like a fish?

eagle

The Loading Dock

As luck would have it, my husband and his friend were also traveling on the River Road, so we were able to meet up at The Loading Dock for lunch. It is located right on the river, and has a wonderful patio area. It was nice enough for us to sit outside while we were eating. Following lunch, they continued north and I headed south for home.

On Sunday, Jim and I took our first walk around the neighborhood together since losing Kirby. It was strange not to have him with us, but as each "first" passes, things get easier and easier. I'm sure he walked with us in spirit.

Kirby

No Kirby Prints in the Snow

Kirby January 20, 2016

We got a dusting of snow last week. As I looked out the back window into the yard, I felt saddened by the lack of dog prints. Kirby liked the snow as long as there wasn't so much that he got the ice balls between his toes, or he didn't have to walk where some homeowner had thrown down salt. That irritated his feet. Though he could certainly entertain himself when we came back inside by picking off the ice balls! The snow fall with no tracks was just another reminder of what we are missing.

coyote prints?

But the next morning when I opened the blinds, I was shocked to see paw prints on the deck - two different sets, actually. For just a moment I thought, "Kirby must have been chasing a rabbit." But then reality blew in like the north wind, and I realized that could not be the case. I shrugged the prints off as being the neighbor cat sniffing out a rabbit.  I posted the photo on Facebook stating that I didn't know if was harder to not find prints in the snow, or to actually see some prints and think for a moment that our boy was still alive. Several people commented on the post, stating that those were coyote prints. Yikes! That thought didn't cross my mind at all. Can coyotes jump fences? I guess I can be thankful Kirby wasn't out there after all.

Another Year Over and a New One Just Begun

Well, we survived our first Christmas without Kirby. It was our turn to drive to Iowa for the holiday, and it was incredibly strange not to have him with us as he was a welcome guest at my in-law's home. There is a certain gas station we always stopped at on the way up so that we could complete the trifecta - potty stops for the dog and us, fuel for the car and food for us. We could not even pull off there this trip. The memories are still too painful. In fact, we did something we have never done before by going to a sit down restaurant to have lunch. It helped a lot mentally to change things up. We also broke up the trip by stopping at a couple of Freedom Rocks. You can read more about the Freedom Rocks here.

Iowa artist Ray Sorensen first painted a rock to honor veterans in Adair County, Iowa in 1999. Beginning in 2013, he established the Freedom Rock Tour, setting a goal to paint a rock in each of Iowa's 99 counties. He has since completed 45 or so of them. There are two fairly close to the route we take up to Iowa - one in West Point and one in Cedar Falls. I was immediately impressed with two things: first, the size of the rock; and second, the incredible detail in the paintings. I'll have to look for more of these when we next drive up to Iowa. There is one fairly near my in-law's town, and we thought that would be a fun family outing one day during our visit. But the weather was a little dicey we decided to save that one for next time. There were several inches of snow on the ground when we arrived, and about four more inches fell while we were there.

West Point Iowa Freedom Rock

Cedar Falls Iowa Freedom Rock

winter squirrel

We had a wonderful time in Charles City. I had fun watching this little guy out the back window. Kirby's favorite spot was on the couch in the living room where he could keep a close eye on the squirrels and birds at the feeders. I kept watch for him this year. Both of Jim's sisters were in town, so for the first time in many years the whole family was together except for a few of the grandchildren. We ate too much, played games and put together a puzzle, laughed a lot and of course received some wonderful gifts.

Gardenland Express

We headed for home on the day after Christmas because Katie was flying into St. Louis on the 27th, and Andy and Megan were driving in on the 28th. We packed a lot of fun into their visits! We opened our gifts on the 28th while drinking our signature CranCherry Cosmos. Jim had to work on Thursday, so we met him at Imo's for lunch - on the must-do list for the kids. Later in the afternoon we went to Jim's office so the kids could get a tour of the latest construction before taking off for the Missouri Botanical Garden to see the Gardenland Express flower and train show. This, too, is a tradition for our family and we try not to miss it. From there we drove to Anheuser-Busch to see the Brewery Lights. We were a little early, so we had to wait in the wind and cold until they began to hand out the arm bands. This is a walking tour, and you receive five free drink tickets to try out different A-B products. Andy, Megan and I went to this last year, but Jim and Katie had never been. Since we were at the beginning of the line to get in, we were able to enter the stables to see the horses. Last year there was an incredibly long line to get in there, so we skipped it. I'm glad we were able to see it this year as the stables are beautiful. It was a fun evening, capped off by a visit to the downtown location of Sugarfire Smoke House. Jim and I had eaten there on Mother's Day, and the kids had heard a lot of good things about it so that was their selection.

Anheuser-Busch Brewery Lights

Friday we met my sister and her husband in Washington for lunch, and then we continued on to New Haven to visit Pinckney Bend Distillery where they offer whiskey and gin tastings. I don't like whiskey so I opted to just do the gin tasting while Jim chose the whiskey tasting. The kids all tried the everything selection. It was a fun change-up from going to wineries, that's for sure. We had dinner back at the house and then drove to Candy Cane Lane and Angel Avenue in south city to see all the decorated houses. Since we were that close to Ted Drewe's Frozen Custard, of course we made a stop there as well.

Donut Dispatch

A knock on the door a little after 8:00 Saturday morning heralded the arrival of a dozen donuts from Donut Dispatch. A new company in Webster Groves, they offer donut delivery on Saturday mornings only. The donuts were awesome! I was wondering aloud how this couple was able to make and sell donuts out of their house, as their label said it was a "Cottage Industry" and not inspected by the Health Department. Sure enough, on Tuesday I saw a notice on their Facebook page that they have been shut down by the city. It's too bad, but calling yourself a "Cottage Industry" does not exempt you from inspections or city licensing and taxes. Hopefully they will be able to find a commercial kitchen to continue their business.

Andy and Megan left following lunch on Saturday to begin their drive home. They stopped in Cambridge, Ohio for the night before continuing on to Virginia on Sunday. Katie flew home on Monday afternoon, so all is quiet in the house again. While we missed Kirby terribly this Christmas, I am grateful that we were able to see so many of our family members this holiday. Here's hoping for a wonderful 2017!

Our New Normal

last picture together December 4, 2016

It's been a little over a week since we had Kirby put to sleep. We are still trying to adjust to our new normal. I knew that Jim would have a hard time because Kirby was his little buddy - they had a mutual love affair going on. I loved Kirby as well, and I know he loved me, too. But I played second fiddle if Jim was around, despite me being the one who was in the house with Kirby all day. But I underestimated how much I would miss the little guy. Everything in the house reminds me of him, especially when I am cooking. I got the can opener out to open some tomatoes. He would have dashed to my side, hoping I was preparing some tuna or canned chicken. The cutting board? He was always right there in the hopes that I was cutting up ham or chicken. It will be a long time before I can buy ham at the deli, as that is what I wrapped all of his pills in so that he would eat them. And I don't think Jim or I will be able to eat a hard boiled egg for quite a while. Kirby loved those, and he and Jim shared one each morning.

Last Wednesday the trash bins did not get rolled back to the house because I always grabbed them after our afternoon walk. And the W-K Times didn't get picked up Friday morning because Jim and Kirby would get it after their morning walk. We both find ourselves leaving a last bite of meat on our plates because we would save Kirby a treat each meal.

Friday I came home to a message on the answering machine from the emergency clinic with "some information about Kirby". I almost didn't return the call, but I knew it would be hard for Jim to do it as well so I just got it over with. As I suspected, they wanted to let us know that Kirby's ashes were ready to be picked up. Jim had requested that he be cremated. I confirmed that they would hold the ashes until we were ready to come and get them. When is one ever ready for that? I am still traumatized over my dad making me go to the vet to pick up the collar and leash of our German Shepherd after he died on the operating table when I was in college.

But Jim was out yesterday afternoon, so he did stop and pick up the remains and settled our bill. He said it was terrible. He felt the eyes of the other pet owners on him as they sat in the waiting room with their pets on a leash while his was in a box. When he got home, he told me not to freak out, but that Kirby was in his favorite spot. I peered into the conservatory, and sure enough Jim had set the box on the couch where Kirby had spent most of his time. He loved sitting in the corner of that couch (or on top of the cushion) so that he could watch for Beloved (as I referred to Jim) come home from work. It was a jolt to see the box in his corner. One surprise is that the emergency clinic had made a cast of Kirby's foot to give to us. It was a nice gesture that I am sure we will appreciate at some point. For right now it is another reminder of what we are missing.

all that remains

We received sympathy cards from our new vet as well as the emergency clinic. A couple of friends have sent cards as well. My Facebook post about Kirby's death received over 100 comments in addition to all the emoticons people tagged on it. It is comforting to know that he touched so many people in his ten years with us. I know that we gave him a great life, and he in turn graced us with much love and happiness. But right now our new normal doesn't feel very normal at all.

Our Hearts are Broken

Late yesterday afternoon we had Kirby put to sleep. In the past few days he had seemed more restless, particularly at night. He spent a lot of time on the tile floor of the conservatory, despite the cold temperature. The conservatory was definitely his room, with the couch serving as his throne where he could observe his subjects - the birds, bunnies and cats who traversed through our yard. And where he could watch for his most loyal subject (Jim) to arrive home. It was unusual for him to be spending so much time on the hard floor.

His tumor had continued to grow, but did not appear to be bothering him until yesterday. He had eaten well in the morning and taken his pills nicely for me. He and Jim took their normal long morning walk, and then we went out to do some Christmas shopping. Kirby still seemed fine, and Jim went to the office to do some work, and I headed upstairs to try to look at a website issue I've had ever since some cretins hacked into my web host and ruined four of my sites. Jim got home a little after four, and called up to me that Kirby was bleeding. He must have just been licking the tumor nonstop while we weren't watching. He was bleeding quite a bit, and his muzzle and feet were covered in blood. I knew what that meant as I had discussed this with the doctor a couple weeks ago when he aspirated this latest lump. Mast cell cancer is incurable, and he would continue to get these tumors. It was time to let him go. I called the emergency clinic while Jim was cleaning things up to let them know what was going on. It was the same facility where we had met with the oncologist, so they had a file on Kirby.

We wrapped Kirby up in towels and headed to the clinic. They immediately took us to a private room, which we very much appreciated. We spoke first with a technician, and she took Kirby away to insert a catheter into his leg in preparation for the medication. The vet took a look at him at the same time, and then the tech returned Kirby to Jim's lap. The very young vet then came in to talk to us. She confirmed that we wanted him put to sleep, and then said in light of all that was going on with him she felt this was the best decision. I told her it was hard to let him go though, as he was still eating and playing and wanting his daily walks. She said that it was a blessing that he did not have to go through all the really bad stuff that this cancer can cause. It was just the right thing to say to us. She asked if we wanted more time with him, and we said no because he was really agitated at the point. So she injected medicine to make him go to sleep, and then the final dose for his permanent rest. It was all very quick though he did take one last inhale that was a little disconcerting. She continued to listen for a heartbeat until there was none. 5:45 p.m. It was all over but the crying. Truer words...

After we got home I washed up the bloody towels and Jim's bloody clothes. I texted or emailed close family members to give them the news, asking them not to call us last night. We couldn't handle talking to anyone. Neither one of us ate dinner, or slept much last night. We were missing our bed buddy. When I went downstairs this morning, the first thing I did was check to see if Kirby's water bowl was filled. The pill bottles lined up on the counter made me cry. I woke up my computer only to see the website of the emergency clinic staring me in the eyes. The first email I read was from Merial, reminding me to apply Kirby's flea treatment.

Since I was bawling anyway, I went ahead and packed up all of his toys, leashes, food, etc. I discarded what needed to be thrown away, and hope to donate a couple of unused leashes and poop bags to someone who can use them. I also have an unopened box of flea treatment and sealed Heart Guard pills that I am hoping a shelter can use. We'll see...I can't deal with that yet, but at least it is all out of site. None of it will be out of mind, however.

A Dog's Life

Kirby

In October we found another lump on Kirby's belly, very near the site of the original tumor. We kept a close eye on it, and it began to change so on November 14th I took him back in to the vet. He performed a needle biopsy on the lump, and to no one's surprise it tested positive for mast cell cancer. This is very dismaying as it has only been three months since the last tumors were removed. The vet said that he can remove it, and in fact it would be a little easier than the last one as it is over a bit from his private parts. But he said we have to face the reality that it can and will come back. How many surgeries do we want to put him through? How many surgeries do we want to put ourselves through, not to mention the expense? This type of cancer is incurable, and I honestly don't think the chemotherapy would have made a difference so I am glad we didn't put him through that.

After some discussion, we decided to try putting him on prednisone in addition to the Benadryl and Pepcid AC that he currently takes. The hope is that the prednisone will keep the cancer cells from irritating Kirby to the point that he licks the tumor and forces it into ulcerating like it did last time. This drug can make dogs very hungry and thirsty, and some dogs urinate in the house because they can't control their bladders. We started with a dosage of three pills at a time once a day, which would be modified if he ended up peeing all over the place.

Fortunately, he has tolerated the medicine well. He is drinking and eating more, and also pants a lot. That, too, is a known side effect. Unfortunately, the tumor continued to grow a bit. His prescription was going to run out on the 23rd, the day we were leaving for Washington, DC to be with our kids for Thanksgiving. So I called the vet again to see about refilling the prednisone. He said that drug should have caused the tumor to shrink some, and that it is a bad sign that it grew even while he was on the medication. But I feel it is great that the tumor didn't go crazy in a 48 hour time period like the last one did, so he agreed to renew the prescription to get us through the seven days we would be gone.

The dog sitter called us the night of the 23rd, and she felt the tumor had grown more and was very red. She wanted to let me know that she had called the vet, and he had her adjust the timing of the pills, giving him one in the morning and two at dinner, along with an additional Benadryl mid-afternoon. She felt we would want to know. None of us slept well that night. Jim was even looking into flights to head back home on Thanksgiving Day in case Kirby needed to be hospitalized - or worse. But when I called the sitter the next morning, she was pleased with the change as the tumor didn't look nearly as red as before. She kept him on the new regimen while we were gone, and fortunately that worked out okay.

I honestly did not know if I would get to see Kirby again. I thought for sure based on how the last tumor went that it would ulcerate while we were away, and we would be faced with tough decisions from far away. It was a horrible feeling, and cast a damper on our visit with the kids. The five of us had not been together since last Christmas, so it is a shame that we had this hanging over all of us. But in the end it all worked out and we will just take each day as it comes. For now he is eating and sleeping well, and still wants to go on his daily walks. I don't know how much more time he has to be with us, but I intend to enjoy each and every day we get.

Write On!

Kim Wolterman

Last week I gave a presentation on why every book needs a business plan at the monthly meeting of the St. Louis Publishers Association. The topic sounds a bit dry, doesn't it? Hopefully, the presentation wasn't. I didn't see any of the 30 or so attendees sleeping, at any rate. I believe it is important to think of the business side of writing a book as much as you think about the creative side. What is the point of spending months or years writing a book, only to find out that you can't afford to get it into print? Or to have it fail because you didn't have a plan for helping it succeed? Sometimes I feel like we don't cover the expense side of book publishing enough. At any rate, the presentation seem to be well-received, and people hung around talking until 9:30. If you are interested in reading more, I have posted about book business plans on my Write Formation blog, which you can find here.

Jim was on a motorcycle adventure last week, so Kirby and I held down the fort. The pooch is doing quite well, though we did just find a small lump on his tummy which we will need to keep a close eye on. I took him with me to Creve Couer Lake for a walk and to watch the sun set. Wow! This is the view I fantasize about when I think of a retirement home.

Creve Coeur Lake

Jim got back home last Saturday, so on Sunday we went to the Missouri Botanical Garden. These extended periods of temperatures in the 80s and even 90s have played havoc with the fall colors. I am afraid we are not going to see the vibrant oranges and reds we are used to. Instead I think the leaves will go more brown and then fall off. That's too bad, because I love fall. Some pretty flowers were still blooming, so it was still worth the visit.

Missouri Botanical Garden

children await arrival of UP 844

Tuesday of this week a train powered by a steam engine came whistling through our town. Delivered in 1944, Steam Locomotive 844 was designed to pull high speed passenger trains, and was the last steam engine built for Union Pacific Railroad. This is the first time in three years that it has been in operation as it was undergoing restoration. The train is traveling from Cheyenne, Wyoming to Memphis, Tennessee for the dedication of the "Big River Crossing" pedestrian bridge/rail bridge over the Mississippi River. I was amazed by how many people turned out, not only in our community, but many other locations in the St. Louis area. I loved the fact that the local pre-school brought the children down to see the train. This is a piece of history you just don't see every day. And of course I had the Johnny Cash song, Folsom Prison Blues, going through my head. "I hear the train a 'comin/It's rollin' 'round the bend..."

You can check out my short video here.

UP 844

Family Affair

My sister and I drove to Cincinnati last weekend for the Crusham family reunion. Once held every other year (sort of) at a park in the heat of August, one of the female cousins took charge several years ago and secured a room at Price Hill Chili in the fall. For three years in a row we have not had to endure heat, humidity, rain or bugs. It is also easier for the elders in the family to get in and out of this location, the bathrooms are clean and the chairs are more comfortable. Genius! The added bonus is that the restaurant serves breakfast all day, so I can get my Goetta fix taken care of at the same time.

Kubler family

But our first stop upon arrival Friday night was a German restaurant in Newport, Kentucky to meet with the last surviving sibling of my dad along with her three children. It is always nice to see them and catch up on their lives. I had a bit of trouble locating the restaurant as my GPS did not recognize the address. This led to us hitting street closures, roads that did not connect between Covington and Newport, and an unexpected trip over the river into downtown Cincinnati during rush hour and a Reds game. To top it off, my sister's phone had frozen, and she had the cell number of the cousin who had arranged the meeting place. We were like the Keystone Cops, and felt every bit as incompetent as the bumbling police in the show. We finally arrived at the restaurant 20 minutes late. I guess it could have been worse. The conversation was good as was the food. When the German band began to play, however, it was time to head out as the sound was deafening.

From there we drove to a Crusham cousin G's house, where we would be spending the weekend. Unfortunately, he became extremely dizzy soon after our arrival, and he had to be taken to the hospital via ambulance. My sister jokingly told him that if he didn't want us to come he should have just said so! He ended up spending two nights in the hospital with a diagnosis of severe vertigo. As he was concerned he was having a stroke, this was good news indeed.

Saturday morning I met a female cousin for breakfast, and then my sister and I went to the hospital to check on G. We stayed there until it was time for Mass at St. Theresa's, which is located across from Price Hill Chili. The proximity meant we were the first to arrive for the reunion, so we settled in with a drink and some popcorn while we waited. A number of our relatives were out of town or had other plans that night, but we still ended up with 29 people. The oldest in the group was my mom's first cousin, who is 97 and enjoyed a Bloody Mary. There are only two girls left in my mom's immediate family, and they are 94 and 89 years old. Longevity is pretty good in the clan. We had a great time, as always.

Sunday afternoon we went and visited with our 94 year old aunt for awhile as it is difficult to catch up when there is a big crowd. Then we took her to a steakhouse, where we met up with her daughter and granddaughter. That pretty much wrapped up the weekend, and we headed home on Monday.

While I was gone, Jim took Kirby up to Iowa. His parents wanted to see Kirby while he is still feeling good. We were cherishing memories in both Ohio and Iowa this weekend.

Update on Kirby's Cancer

Kirby at the clinic

On Thursday the 22nd we took Kirby to see the oncologist, Dr. S. It was our first visit to Veterinary Specialty Services, a clinic filled with board-certified veterinary specialists. So basically every animal that comes in there is in some sort of a crisis situation. I filled out the paperwork, and we had a short wait before the vet could see us. We found Dr. S. to be a no nonsense type of person, but with a wonderful bedside manner. We discussed Kirby's surgery and the pathology reports, and she suggested doing an ultrasound to see if there were any additional tumors in the belly area. If he was loaded with tumors then followup treatments would not make sense. We agreed that was a good starting point.

They took him in the back, shaved his tummy and did the test. It was questionable whether they would have to put him under for the ultrasound, but in the end a muzzle took care of the issue. We met again with Dr. S., who said that the good news was she did not see any new growths. She also did a needle aspiration on a lump on his leg, and that was just one of the many fatty growths he has on his body. Her recommendation was to do chemotherapy, whether through pill form or IV. That would be up to us. She explained that she hates mast cell cancer because it is so unpredictable, and the fact that he had it in a lymph node was very troublesome. We discussed the pros and cons of the pill versus IV therapy, and honestly my biggest concern at the time was that the pills are very dangerous to humans. You have to wear special gloves when you handle them. It makes sense to me to have them administer the IV in a controlled setting where they know what they are doing. The treatment would involve going in once a week for four weeks, and then every other week for four additional treatments. So three months, essentially. The pills, on the other hand, would be administered every other day for three months. Whichever way we go, Kirby's saliva, urine and feces will be toxic to us and other animals, so we'll need to exercise caution with that. His immune system would be compromised either way, and he would not be allowed around any other animals. Not even at the groomers.  After further discussion, we set up the first IV treatment for the next day, Friday the 23rd.

At 4:00 in the morning on Friday, Jim and I were both wide awake and fretting. I could not stop crying, worrying about whether or not we were making the right decision. We finally decided that if we were both concerned, then we should listen to our guts. We are not impulsive people who make major decisions without looking at all the facts and options, and I think that was part of the problem for us both. I called and cancelled the appointment, and asked for Dr. S. to call me. She returned my call a few hours later and answered all of my questions to the best of her ability. Basically, mast cell cancer cannot be cured. It will come back in Kirby, so it's not an "if" but a "when" situation. What you are hoping to accomplish with chemo is to destroy or disrupt the mast cells that have gone rogue in his system. Unfortunately there are no good statistics to help with the decision. It's not like she can say if you give him chemo, he can live for another 2-3 years. Or if he doesn't get chemo he will die in 3 months.  If he was five instead of going on eleven, that would make the decision easier.

We have since talked to a couple of people that worked in clinics that treated dogs with cancer, and they both said most dogs handle the chemo better than a people do. But all I can think is, if he is one that gets really sick, how in the world do I get his toxic waste out of hardwood floors and tile grout? Would he have to be kept in a kennel? Can we even take him on any walks if his waste is hazardous to other animals?

Lots of questions and no easy answers. At the moment, we are doing nothing other than keeping him on the medications he has been on since surgery - Benadryl twice a day, a Pepcid AC cut in half twice a day, and an Apoquel once a day. The mast cells release too many histamines in the body, causing itching and a chance of damage to the stomach lining, so these drugs help to keep that in check. I am taking him tomorrow for his grooming, which we do every two months and he is due for that. And Jim's parents want to see Kirby while he is still feeling good, so the two of them are going to do a road trip soon. Then we'll have to make an executive decision on which was to go. It is hard because Kirby has no say in this whatsoever. What decision would he make???

Floating Away

float trip

My husband's office has a float trip each summer, and we were back on the Huzzah River again this year. We shared an A-frame cabin with Jim's business partner (whose wife got sick at the last minute and wasn't able to go.) There were 23 of us altogether, and most of the others set up tents, with the exception of a couple who had just purchased a nice-sized camper. While I don't really mind tent camping, doing so in August is not my idea of a good time. I was happy to have the air conditioning as well as indoor plumbing. It worked out well because the A-frame had a kitchen, and the refrigerator and running water made it easier to prepare the Saturday evening meal.

A-frame cabins

The forecast for the weekend was not good, calling for temperatures in the 90's and rain, but we actually lucked out. It was overcast for much of the day on Saturday, and we had a slight breeze out on the water. The river was not too crowded - perhaps the forecast kept people away. It ended up being a lot of fun, and it was nice for me to be able to meet the new employees as well as this year's batch of interns. One of the interns is from the Cincinnati area, so we sure had a lot to talk about.

Huzzah horses

Saturday night was not restful as there was a huge party going on until all hours of the morning in the area where the cabins were located. But we awoke to some low lying clouds, and Jim captured this nice picture of the horses in the pasture.

We had a light breakfast and enjoyed coffee/tea on the deck of the cabin before packing up and heading out. Jim and I stopped in Cuba, Missouri on the way back to see the murals in town. There are 12 outdoor murals that tell the history of Cuba, which was founded in 1857. We did not have a map depicting the locations of the murals, but we were still able to find all of them. Below are pictures of a few of them. They are beautifully done, and it is well worth a stop if you are heading down Interstate 44.

Cuba, Missouri murals

While we were gone Kirby was in the capable hands of the friend who always stays with him, and he was just fine without us. We left his cone of shame on, and Caren commented that he wears the cone like a fashion accessory! She was amazed at how well he has adapted to life with the collar. We actually removed it last night as the vet said to wait 3-4 days post stitch removal to take it off. He did a little licking at the surgery site, but not too bad. He has behaved himself pretty well today, so I am hoping that we can leave the cone off. He sure does like to snuggle, and it is pretty hard with that large thing around his head.  With all the uncertainty, we want to get in as many snuggles as possible.

The Stitches are Out!

Kirby August 25

Three weeks post-surgery, Kirby finally got his stitches out today. Unfortunately, while the stitches were ready to come out, there is some seepage from one of the surgical sites. It could be that there is an infection because somehow our contortionist has managed to lick the wounds this past week despite the cone of shame (which is actually called an econe, by the way). But Dr. M. is more concerned that it might be an indication that the cancer is still in there. Wow - that was not something we wanted to hear! Kirby's weight is also down two pounds from pre-surgery, and that is pretty significant on a dog his size. I imagine they will be monitoring that as well, though I do think some of the medications affected his appetite.

For now the vet prescribed more antibiotics and prednisone to hopefully help with the itching, though I would have thought the Benadryl would have done the trick. We also put a larger cone on him, so there is no way for him to reach the incisions now. On the plus side, this cone is clear and he seems more comfortable with being able to see better than he could with the opaque cone. With any luck, it will only take a few days to clear things up and we can remove the cone. They want to see Kirby again in two weeks, or sooner if we see any problems. We got the name of the oncologists, so we'll be scheduling an appointment with them after Labor Day as our schedule is pretty booked until then.

A new pickleball friend of mine had asked me last week if I minded if she added Kirby's name to a Facebook group called Fur Angel Blessing Blanketeers whose members pray for pets in need. Of course I said it was fine. She also asked for my address, and I thought it was because she wanted to mail us a card. Imagine my surprise when a package arrived in the mail yesterday, addressed to Kirby. Inside was a note and a blanket with a  matching toy, telling Kirby that they hoped the blanket would bring him comfort as he heals. It was postmarked from a woman I do not know in North Carolina. How amazing is that? Even more incredible was the fact that Kirby sniffed it all over, and then laid down on it. He usually shies away from something he hasn't seen before. It was as if he could feel the love coming from the blanket. Puppy love from 600 miles away! Maybe I'll curl up on it too - I could use some comfort right now as well.

Kirby's new blanket

Kirby Update

Kirby August 16

It's been over two weeks since Kirby had surgery to remove his tumors. Until the diagnosis of cancer, it was intended that his stitches would be removed on the 18th. Because of the type of cancer he has, the vet wanted to leave the stitches in for an additional week, so they will be removed on the 25th. Dr. M. said we could try taking the cone off to see how Kirby would do, and we removed it after dinner on the 18th. He was such a happy boy! He could finally rub his ears, and get around without running into things.

Unfortunately, it also meant he could get to the two incisions. He went and hid behind a chair and licked them until they were all red and swollen. Man, he is so much like a toddler sometimes. So the cone went back on, and it will remain in place until the vet removes it on Thursday.

Other than that, he is doing quite well. We are taking two walks a day, and could probably add back in his third now that the weather has cooled a bit. He is done with his antibiotics and his pain pills, so that just leaves giving him Benadryl. I think he will have to take those the rest of his life, but I will ask the vet about it on Thursday. His appetite is pretty much back to normal. I'm thinking that his post-surgical medications probably acted as an appetite suppressant. All in all, things are okay for now.

We celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary Friday night at Annie Gunn's with Jim's business partner and his wife. They were also celebrating special birthdays, so it was a big night. We we seated in one of their special booths that has a sliding door for privacy, and they brought us each a complimentary shot glass of sparkling moscato. It was very good. Then after dinner they gave us two pieces of warm apple pie ala mode to share, complete with a candle in them. How nice was that? The best part is that both couples had gift cards, so the entire deal only cost us $10 out of pocket. Nice!

Sunday was so gorgeous that Jim went for a motorcycle ride, and I headed off to the Missouri Botanical Garden with a friend. It was such a treat to have a day in August that began in the low sixties with even lower humidity. Here are a few of my favorite photos from the day.

Missouri Botanical Garden August 21

Stupid Cancer

Kirby June 2016

When the new vet called me late last week, I did not immediately think the worst. He was asking how Kirby was doing, and truly the dog is doing well. He bounds up and down the stairs, jumps off the couch and bed, and does not seem to be in any pain. He has adjusted to his new normal of wearing the cone of shame. The only thing that has given me a little concern is the fact that his appetite seems to be off. Fortunately he still will take a bite of ham from me, which is great as that is how I disguise the pills he has to take. And he will normally eat the hard boiled egg that he and Jim share each morning, but he has not eaten much of his dry food. I suspect that he may be playing me a little, hoping he can hold out for more ham.

But then Dr. M. mentioned that the pathology report came back, and that is when my heart dropped. I figured it was probably bad news if he was calling me himself. The report stated that Kirby has mast cell cancer. Mast cells are present in all dogs, and they help other cells get to where they need to be to fight an infection. The mast cells release histamine, which causes tissue swelling so the white cells can travel through the tissue to reach the infection. But when a dog has mast cell cancer, the amount of histamines being released can be dangerous. A tumor is formed when the mast cells reproduce out of control. Mast cell tumors are the most common form of skin cancer in dogs. Certain breeds are at increased risk to get this type of cancer, including the Boston terrier, Boxer, English Bulldog, Bullmastiff, Labrador retriever, and other bull breeds. As a cockapoo, Kirby does not fall into any of those, so it is certainly odd that he got this.

Because Dr. M. found a second tumor when operating on Kirby, and that tumor involved a lymph node, Kirby's cancer is considered a Grade II out of III, and he has been given a "guarded" prognosis. I was advised to start him on 25mg of Benadryl twice a day to help combat all the histamines that the cancer is pouring into his system. And removal of the stitches was pushed back one week as this type of tumor has a tendency to come "unzipped". When asked if this means Kirby has to wear the cone for an additional week, the vet said that was up to us. He said we can remove it and see if Kirby leaves the stitches alone. My plan is to keep it on for the full two weeks, and then remove it to see how he does. I don't want to take if off and then have to put it back on.

Dr. M. said at this point he can recommend some veterinarian cancer specialists in St. Louis if we want to go that route. I have been reading up on mast cell cancer, and it sounds as if the first six months following surgery will be crucial. If Kirby doesn't have a recurrence of the cancer in that time period, studies show that 44% of dogs survived over four years following surgery. Since he is already over ten years old, that would be a good run.

Jim & Kirby

Jim was out of town for work when I got the call, so I waited until he got back home to tell him about
Kirby. He wasn't going to be able to do anything from where he was at, and I certainly didn't want him driving home alone with this weighing on him. We both love Kirby, but Jim is number one in Kirby's eyes. They are best buds. Jim and I are on the same page as far as thinking that we'd like to meet with a specialist if only to learn what to expect with this disease. We certainly would not be in favor of doing anything that would cause Kirby unnecessary pain, or make him extremely ill for whatever time he has left with us. But if there is something that can give us more time together without hurting him, we'd like to explore the options.

Skin cancer on both me and my dog - what are the odds?

Doggone It!

Kirby August 3

In the spring we noticed a small mass on Kirby's stomach. I pointed it out to the vet when I took him in to the office in early June for his annual physical. Kirby had a similar lump in 2015 that was removed in June of that year. The vet looked at the mass he had removed and didn't feel it was anything to worry about, so he did not send it off for a pathology report. This year, Dr. D. said he felt the lump was different and told me to keep an eye on it.

The mass grew a little between June and August, and when I took him to the groomer on the 1st of this month, I pointed it out to her so that she would be careful when trimming that area. He was fine when I brought him home that day. By Tuesday he was beginning to bother the lump through constant licking. I called Dr. D.'s office to schedule an appointment, and they told me they could get him in the next Tuesday. When I pushed the issue, they said I could bring him in Thursday, and they would stick him in a kennel until they could look at him. Complicating things was the fact that we were due to leave for Iowa (Kirby included) on Thursday. The pooch and I were going to stay with my mother-in-law while Jim took his dad and sister up to Minnesota for the Wolterman family reunion. All of my father-in-law's remaining five sisters were going to attend, and we really wanted him to be able to be there as well.

Kirby August 3

During the night on Tuesday, Kirby was not leaving the lump alone and it had grown noticeably. First thing Wednesday morning, Jim took him to the emergency vet hospital. They looked at the growth, said we needed to schedule surgery with our vet, and sent him home with antibiotics and the cone of shame. When I called our vet's office once they opened, they said they could do surgery on August 18th! Are you even kidding me? That's when I began to cry on the phone, and told the gal I couldn't make this poor dog wait two more weeks in his condition. I said, "You know when we need you guys, we NEED you!" This kind of wait for a practice that proclaims themselves to be an animal hospital is just unacceptable. She said she would talk to the vet when he got in and call me back. They ended up scheduling Kirby's surgery for Tuesday, August 9th.

Kirby August 4

The site of the tumor began to bleed a little during the night Wednesday, and he honestly looked like he had an udder hanging down. We decided that Jim would go on up to Iowa, and I would stay at home with Kirby. I didn't feel he could handle a 7 hour car ride, and they warned us that there was an outside chance this thing could burst. It that happened, it would be very messy. In the meantime, Kirby was dripping blood everywhere, so after consulting with a few people in the vet field, I ran to the store and got gauze pads and a gauze roll, and Jim helped me bandage him up before he left. The lump felt about the size of a golf ball!

It wasn't long before the bandage was saturated. I covered our new oriental rug with plastic and threw an old blanket over it for Kirby to sit on. In the meantime, I called both the vet's office, who said they would still see me on Tuesday, and the emergency hospital to advise them on the changes. I pleaded with the emergency tech for them to remove this tumor, and she said, "We don't do that kind of surgery" followed by "He won't bleed to death before Tuesday."

As luck would have it, my friend Caren came to the house at 2:00 to look at one of my websites that had been hacked. I had at the last minute sent her a text and told her I wasn't going out of town after all in case she had time to work on it. Caren is also the one who stays with our baby when we travel. She took one look at him (and the dripping blood), and said that something needed to be done. Her relative is a vet in town, so she called his practice. They said they would see us at 4:00, and at the very least would try to stop the bleeding. Caren drove me so that I could hold Kirby to keep him calm.

Once Dr. M. looked Kirby over and felt the tumor, he knew it was a pretty dire situation. He checked to see if one of his technicians could stay late, and then said they would do his surgery at 6:00 that night. I couldn't believe it, and I had to rush over and give him a hug. It was such a relief to know that Kirby would be taken care of, and to have someone finally take me and the situation seriously! He warned me that it was going to be a tricky surgery because of where the tumor was located. Let alone being so close to his pen*s, there are other organs and lots of blood vessels in that area. He anticipated that the surgery would take about an hour and a half, and said they would keep Kirby overnight. Caren and I left to go grab some dinner, and then went back to my house.

I got a call from Dr. M. saying they were beginning the surgery at 6:45, so I expected to hear around 8:30 that they were done. In fact, it was nearly 10:00 before we got a call. Of course we were all frantic by that point, imagining the worse. I guess they wanted to wait until he was awake from the anesthesia before they gave us a report. Dr. M. said when he got in there, Kirby was bleeding internally. As he removed the tumor, he made sure to take some tissue from around it so that hopefully there would be clean margins in the event that it is cancerous. He was shocked to find a second growth hiding behind the other tumor. He thought it was an enlarged lymph node, so he removed it as well. Other than that, everything went well, and Kirby had actually had a little to eat and drink after he was awake a bit. Dr. M. said to call him in the morning so he could tell me how Kirby was doing.

home from surgery

The next morning I got a positive report - the surgical site was looking fine, and Kirby had a good night. We set it up for me to come and get him at 9:30. Caren once again drove me to the clinic, and I stopped and picked up donuts and a fruit tray to express my gratitude to the entire office. Kirby was almost as happy to see me as the staff was to see the donuts - ha!  I asked about the size of the tumors, and Dr. M. said the first was larger than a golf ball, and the second one was just about as big. Kirby needs to wear the cone of shame until the stitches come out, which will be on the 18th. He was also sent home with antibiotics and pain pills. He is on limited activity, and no walks until the stitches are removed. That will be the hardest part for all of us as he normally gets three walks per day.

So far he is doing well. He is tolerating the medicines and the two incision sites look very good. Now we wait for the pathology report, and pray that nothing bad showed up.

Preserving History

our house

A local library received a grant to procure some video equipment and auxiliary lights for the purpose of recording the history of the town and its older residents. Several churches will be celebrating their 150th anniversaries next year, so this project ties in nicely with those historic events. To begin the process, the library director asked if they could interview me about the history of my house and its place in the town when it was built in 1902. Of course I said yes as talking about my pretty lady is one of my favorite things. They may be sorry they asked - ha! Since she has just been freshly painted, the centenarian is looking great for her age.

We recently had a meeting to discuss the project. I brought along my notebook filled with the documents I collected to prove the age of the house when I applied for the century home plaque, as well as the two old issues of The Ladies' Home Journal that contain the drawings of plans used to build the house. I also showed them the book I made about the history of the house. I think these would be some nice visual aids for the taping. Most of the actual interview will take place at the library, but they also want to come to the house and shoot some footage of the house as well. The director does have some concern that other residents will expect him to do a video of their homes as well, so his answer to that will be to ask them what interesting items they have found about the house. He doesn't think many will have the amount of stuff that I have collected. I don't have a timetable yet for when the project will begin, but it should be fun!

Sandy Creek Covered Bridge

Another piece of history that I have been wanting to see is the Sandy Creek Covered Bridge in Jefferson County. It is one of four remaining covered bridges in Missouri. On Saturday we loaded up some drinks and the dog and drove down Highway 21. The bridge is nicely preserved and on a such a beautiful day there were several groups shooting pictures at the site. We decided to continue on with a walk and ended up finding a field of grazing horses. They were not the least bit concerned about us, or all the cars flying past on Old Highway 21.

horses in the field

Kirby

As luck would have it, Jim's business partner call while we were driving to say that he was at his lake house if we wanted to come by. As it is off of Highway 21, the timing could not have been better. We stopped and grabbed lunch for all of us, and enjoyed eating it on his deck overlooking the lake. Then we went out for a boat ride. Kirby loves to get on the boat, so he hopped right in. It was a great way to end the afternoon.

Rocky Raccoon

Rocky Raccoon

Since you all seemed to be sad that I would no longer be sharing squirrel stories, you will be happy to know that Rocky Raccoon has come along to fill the void. Fortunately or unfortunately, Rocky lives outside. It is nice that he hasn't taken up residence in the space recently vacated by the squirrels, but instead he lives under the deck in the back. This drives the dog absolutely crazy! He can smell the raccoon, and so he stands by the steps and barks his fool head off.

Because I am so easily disturbed by the non-stop barking of some of the dogs in my neighborhood, I am particularly sensitive to not letting my dog bark for prolonged time periods. But when he is on the hunt for Rocky, Kirby will not obey. The only way to get him in the house is to fake a walk. I go outside with his leash, heading up the sidewalk. He will finally come up to me, and I can snap on the leash and lead him back into the house. I'm not sure how many times he will fall for that one though.

When I was sitting in the conservatory in the back of the house last night talking to my daughter on the phone, I saw something drop down onto the deck. Sure enough, there was old Rocky. Up to that point we were not certain if it was a raccoon or a possum under the deck. Now we know for sure. What I don't know for sure is what we are going to do about him. Rocky has checked in, now how do we get Rocky to check out?

It's a Bit Squirrelly Around Here

Cardinals Rally Squirrel

I am surrounded by squirrels. And unfortunately I don't mean the two legged kind, or the cute one that adorns my St. Louis Cardinals shirt. I have been hearing noises above my office for awhile. Because it goes on during the day and not at night, I figured that it was not mice. Plus I can see the squirrels scampering outside my office window. It is very annoying and distracting as I am trying to write. I have just started hearing them make a different noise, which made me wonder what squirrels sound like when they are trying to expand their families. So on Monday Jim called a couple of different pest control companies for a bid.

The first Squirrel Buster came to the house at 11:00 yesterday morning. After walking around the house and looking at the pitch of our roof, he respectfully declined the job. Oh dear! I could practically hear the squirrels high-fiving each other at the news. The second guy had given Jim his pricing over the phone, so Jim just called him back and asked him to come on over. I was not optomistic when he showed up. But he walked around the house, listened to what I had to say, and said he would set up a trap right away. He explained that last season was the largest explosion of wild critters that he had seen, and this year was shaping up to be a banner year as well. The trap companies cannot even keep up with the demand. He added that while regular pest control was falling through the floor, furry pest control was through the roof - lterally. Har, har. The extreme cold this winter has encouraged the four legged pests to seek warmer quarters. In our case, they are living in the area above the small, open porch we added to the second floor back in 2003.

squirrel trap

Knowing nothing about how this process works, I listened with interest as he explained that he would find the point of entry, and then attach a trap to the outside of the house over the hole. The trap is baited with peanut butter, and when the animal goes in the trap door closes. He comes back frequently to check the trap, but we can also call him if we see or hear one in the trap. After he is convinced there are no more squirrels in the space, he permanently seals the hole. My question is what happens if the squirrels were not in there when he placed the cage? I guess we shall see. What he does with the squirrels once he catches them, I do not know. I decided to take a don't ask, don't tell approach. I don't really care as long as they are no longer living in their Wolterman condominium. I do know that if they are relocated, they must be taken at least five (preferable ten!) miles from where they were caught. Otherwise they will come back.

After the Squirrel Buster left, I took Kirby for a walk. Our little deal at the end of each walk is once we get close to the house I let him off his leash in our front yard. He runs around like crazy and thinks he is hot stuff, and then we go into the fenced in back yard. When I took him off the leash yesterday, he chased after a squirrel. He always chases them, but never catches them. Except this time. He actually caught the squirrel! It seemed a little gimpy, so perhaps it had injured its leg. Regardless, there was Kirby, shaking the thing back and forth in his mouth. I was yelling at him in vain, telling him to drop it, when he shook it one too many times and it went flying. It managed to limp its way up the tree, thankfully. New name for the dog - the Kirbinator!

As of today, there are no squirrels in the trap. Kirby-1, Squirrel Buster-0. The guy said it may take awhile, but he thinks the warmer temperatures will draw the squirrels outside. Guess I better keep my eye on the Kirbinator.

Nothing to Bark About

Every Thursday during the growing season they have a farmer's market in my town. This is only the second year so there are not a large number of booths yet, but it has grown some since last year. Today was doggie day at the market, with promises of treats for your pooch. Kirby and I walked up to the area of the market, which is a nice distance from our house. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but there was not too much going on. In addition to the regular booths, a groomer had a booth set up with a doggie bag for each four legged visitor. And an animal hospital had a vet available to answer questions. That was it. There were a couple of gals taking pictures, so Kirby may end up with his 15 minutes of fame somewhere. As cute as he is though, most of the camera time was going to a tie dyed dog at the groomer's booth. He was a pretty docile little guy, mostly hanging his head in shame at looking so ridiculous with his four colors of fur. We didn't hang around long. In fact we spent more time walking there and back than we did at the market. The dog days of summer it wasn't.